Time Never Goes Back

2008-10-17T00:28:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, things can just happen when you least expect it.

All I want to tell you is that... I'm really happy, really very happy because of you.
Thank you for just being you.

Another Happy Ending..

2008-09-05T23:08:00.000+08:00

Aaawwww.. Ok I FINALLY completed the Cruel Love series. Nope, I have not finished setting my science paper but instead I just had to relent to my urge of completing this series first... if not cannot concentrate on anything else before I know the ending. It's a very torturous feeling you know.

At least after this, I know I have no other distractions and I can give my 101% on the supposedly more important things.

Blame me for not knowing how to prioritise... but in this case, my priorities just go a little haywire.

Here's a sneak preview of Cruel Love for you... you're allowed to drool over my heart throb Kwon Sang Woo ya!

The Destination

2008-09-04T22:27:00.001+08:00

Hello people.. I know my blog has been accumulating dust yet again. Hardly any time to be ranting away and also because it just takes too much effort to put all my thoughts to words.

So how's Ramadhan so far? Hope it has been good. Alhamdulillah for me. So far it's been good. It helps a lot too that the first week coincides with the September school holidays. So I get to rest my voice and save myself from walking up and down the stairs from class to class. Just hope that the body has gotten used to fasting when I'm back teaching next week.

As usual holiday is not a total break from work. I may not need to go to school everyday but even so I have been desk bound at home. Trying to set the P5 SA2 Science paper due mid of next week and not yet started on the lesson observation preparation by the VP next tuesday. Oh well I have always been the procasinator when it comes to work and this time is no different. Last minute always works best for me I guess.

Guiltily, the first few days of the hols have been spend, yes desk bound, but more precisely bounded to the DVD player. Well it's time to catch up on my Korean dramas after a month of discipline ( I was a coldturkey ok!) It's Kwon Sang Woo again! Remember the hero from Winter Sonata and Stairway to Heave. He who is like Rosyam Nor of the Korean dramas. He just makes me cry la ok! So you should catch Cruel Love too. I still have 1.5 cds more to complete and I'm trying to refrain myself from touching the DVD player till I complete setting the MCQ questions at least. I forsee no sleep again for tonight.

By the way, this Ramadhan also brought back a lot of memories of last year's. It's been a year since you left. You would have celebrated your 26th birthday yesterday and I remembered the Sakura buffet we had together with Dja and Hafiz. May you be among the best people always. Amin.

To all of you.... Selamat berpuasa ye! Semoga Ramadhan tahun ini lebih baik daripada Ramadhan yand sebelumnya.
Till we meet again... somewhere, someday.
Please take care.

"Cinta tak semesti pada manusia,tapi cinta pada illahi itu yang utama..kerna ku pasti cinta dari Allah tiada akhirnya."

WE SING, WE DANCE AND WE STEAL THINGS

2008-08-04T12:56:00.000+08:00

Aiinnn!!! I'm so jealous! How can you go to Singfest without telling me. You and tabr purposely made me so envious! actually for the whole of last month i have been contemplating to burn 300 bucks just to see my man in his hat.. mr jason mraz. Each time i hear the advert on the radio... i so yearn to watch him perform live. after all the fantabulous video clips of his live performances on youtube, i'm more than sure than he wont disappoint me.

His latest cd has been on replay in the car... yes i shall just be contented with that. 300 is just too much money to throw and no one was really really keen on going.

So Ain did you kiss him for me as you promised?

Books, Mraz and Coffee Prince

2008-07-15T15:47:00.000+08:00

Went shopping for books at borders last Sunday. Yup I'm so glad I'm hooked to reading again. Thanks to Tony Parson's Man and Wife.Got two more books queueing up and of course alternating it with my Coffee Prince Series.. Wishing I could multitask, reading and watching my K dramas at one same time.. why not adding reading my course materials too, and marking and doing lots of other more things.

Another great thing about last Saturday was that I got hold of Jason Mraz's latest album. Oh you know how I love his songs and showmanship. And currently I'm actually hooked to this song 'Lucky'.

Oh no.. I'm not in love with any best friend yet..I'm still learning to love myself :)

My New Site

2008-07-07T19:17:00.000+08:00

I'm starting my new site at multiply now... Multiply seems more convenient since I can also upload my photos and many other stuff there.

Blogger will still be cross posted with my entries but I guess you'll be able to fid more stuff here.

Let's see how often I'll be updating this blog site... My blogger has been long abandoned although I have so mush to update on my June escapade to Redang and all my mini adventures during my short holiday away from work.

I'll update when time permits.

OH WELL

2008-06-01T15:48:00.003+08:00

OH WELL

I really want to put the past behind me. I wanted us to be friends like before.... but it just seems impossible. I want to let go of these negative feelings because I thought it's the only way to forget you. But why is it that my innocents comments could be deemed as personal attacks to you?

I guess history is hard to forget, it just made us more sensitive and petty to mere jokes. Not just you. I'm like that too. But well... it's be long over.

In this case, silence is indeed golden. My silence can save myself from further self misery......

2008-05-29T21:05:00.001+08:00

REARRANGE

DORMITORY:> When you rearrange the letters:> DIRTY ROOM>

PRESBYTERIAN:> When you rearrange the letters:> BEST IN PRAYER>

ASTRONOMER:> When you rearrange the letters:> MOON STARER>

DESPERATION:> When you rearrange the letters:> A ROPE ENDS IT>

THE EYES:> When you rearrange the letters:> THEY SEE>

GEORGE BUSH:> When you rearrange the letters:> HE BUGS GORE>

THE MORSE CODE :> When you rearrange the letters:> HERE COME DOTS>

SLOT MACHINES:> When you rearrange the letters:> CASH LOST IN ME>

ANIMOSITY:> When you rearrange the letters:> IS NO AMITY>

ELECTION RESULTS:> When you rearrange the letters:> LIES - LET'S RECOUNT>

SNOOZE ALARMS:> When you rearrange the letters:> ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S>

A DECIMAL POINT:> When you rearrange the letters:> IM A DOT IN PLACE>

THE EARTHQUAKES:> When you rearrange the letters:> THAT QUEER SHAKE>

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:> When you rearrange the letters:> TWELVE PLUS ONE>

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:
MOTHER-IN-LAW:> When you rearrange the letters:> WOMAN HITLER

Queer isn't it??

2008-05-27T21:54:00.004+08:00

BOWLING YET AGAIN

Last minute plan to gather for a bowlling session at Angsana, Johor last Sunday turned out a success and kecoh as always-although not all the members were present. Unlimited fun and laughter... even the mothers joined in the game. Always enjoy every gathering session with the extended family, and it's really nice having a lot of cousins around the same age. And of course, a day at Johor wouldn't be complete without the big makan session. So we headed to our favourite spot, Singgah Selalu for a $400RM seafood dinner. Really worth the money.
Everyone went home with full tummies and feeling all contented and satisfied...
And I really can't wait the the Redang trip.

On a different note, the school holiday is here... but it's no holiday for me yet... I have courses after courses to attend the whole of this week. And next week we will be having a 3d2n scouts camp at aloha loyang resort... I hope it will be as fun as it sounds...

One thing I just really hate having to do now is my work review. Totally dreadful and torturous. Someone help!!

2008-05-20T20:06:00.002+08:00

AAC

Finally I caught the film Ayat-Ayat Cinta yesterday. All I can say is MasyaAllah sesungguhnya Islam itu sungguh indah dan adil. A very beautiful movie.....

And another thing.. I should go and pick up Arab, the language of the holy Quran. Beautiful.

2008-05-10T20:14:00.000+08:00

TGIF WITH THE COUSINS

It was supposed to be a short meet up to finalise the itinerary and details for our June trip to Redang! Yippee really excited about the trip... with the dearest paternal cousins.. 8 youngsters without the parents!

Had dinner at Esteler at Cineleisure, walked around Taka a little and then Azul requested to drive himself home. How could I abandon my 3 cousins to go home on their own? Picked Fadhil on the way to Teban but instead of sending Azul, Tiya and Yani straight home, we ended up playing bowling at West Coast and had supper after that, all with Fadhil and Tiya still in their school uniforms.

Reached home only around 1, dreading the fact that I had to wake up early that morning for Mendaki. That was our pre-Redang bonding session... there'll be more fun to come.

One thing for sure... I cant wait for 10th June!!!!

2008-05-04T13:56:00.006+08:00

THROUGH OUR JOURNEY
Finally downloaded the pictures taken during the OM competition. Just to share with you some of the highlights....

The Fuchun teams all came with yellow hair...

And painted face... garang or not?!

In this year's OM t-shirt

After round 1, spontaneous round over... next is the long-term problem

This is our Cindy Lee La Tan...

And HIS sexy ballroom gown is revealed... yes this is male student

The vehicle and our trusted driver, JacksonThe rest of the cast with some of the props

Where it all happened

Before the performance... all feeling nervous behind the starting line

Phew.. it's all over.. Good job guys!!

2008-05-02T21:42:00.002+08:00

I'VE GOT MAIL

The much awaited reply came today in the mailbox... Alhamdulillah I got in. It's going to start end of next month. Quite looking forward to embark on this new journey but at the same time, I'm unsure of whether I can juggle all the responsibilites. InsyaAllah if this is what I really want, then I have to work really hard for it. I know it's not going to be easy, but please give me your support.

I hope the next 3 years of struggle will bear its fruits of labour. Wish me luck!

2008-05-01T23:21:00.005+08:00

RIGHT BACK WHERE YOU BELONG

It has been 4 years since I taught you for Mendaki at Pandan Primary. You were sitting for your PSLE back then. You were the type who was rugged and tomboyish while your other female classmates got more vain with their long hair and shorter skirts. I really enjoyed teaching your class that year because all of you were very cooperative and eager to attend class every week, including you.

Through that one year with you, we bonded and grew. You managed to pass all your subjects and get into the express stream and I still remember how happy you were when you called me to share your results. It was all your hard work, I merely gave you the extra bit of guidance. You went on to secondary school and your brother came under me the following year- he was next to take his PSLE.

Although you were no longer under my charge, I always asked Hamkah how you've been doing. And once in a while, you would sms me asing how I was doing and to update me on your school life. Yes and you never failed to ask me whether I've gotten myself a boyfriend (haha.. some things just don't change Aida). Each Hari Raya that passed, I would see how you and your brother have grown. Each time you will come with different groups of friends and it's heartwarming to know that I am always remembered and the effort taken to travel all the way to my house.

Last year, you didn't come to visit but you insisted that I drop by your house when I visit my aunt's house at Teban, and I did. Each year, I have witnessed you and Hamkah evolving into teenagers; Nothing too drastic, just that typical dyeing of hair and you told me how you were struggling a little with your studies. Sometimes you and Hambali took the effort to message me some of your maths questions, hoping that I could help to solve them.

The two of you went quiet since the last Hari Raya. And I also left you undisturbed. It was yesterday that I suddenly got a message each from the two of you again. Frankly I was overjoyed. Indeed, it has been a long time. I was so touched reading the content of your messages that I knew I just had to see the both of you when I went down to visit my aunt today. And so I messaged you to tell that I was at Teban. You were very eager to meet me and so was I.

You came down with a friend. You were still the same tomboyish Aida... but now you have multiple piercings on your ears. You even pierced the side of your lips. I knew my heart cracked a little to see you like that but I did not want to be judgemental. I joked a little about your outlook and asked about Haron.

I was happy that Haron would soon be joining us and you forwarned me,"Cikgu, jangan terperanjat tau kalau tengok muka Haron (teacher, please don't be shock when you see Haron's face)." That statement didn't give me a nice feeling. And true enough, I was trying to suppress my shock when I saw Haron. He had even more piercings on his face and ears with huge studs. Haron was such a softspoken and nice boy and I know he still is and I dont wish to erase that image of him. Haron soon went off with his group of friends. I was briefly introduced to them and it made me even more worried to see the kind of friends they hang out with. Aida decided not to join the group as yet and stayed behind with me. We had a long good chat.

Aida shared a lot of her life stories with me. Of how she and Haron have swayed into bad company. How she and Haron have been spending their time idling away under the void decks smoking, or hanging out at their friend's house getting themselves drunk, how much she hated the people at home and what shattered me most was how she was caught abusing drugs in school, which she got from Haron. Be reminded that Haron and Aida are just 16 and 15 and they are still underaged for cigarettes and alcoholic drinks, what more drugs. Yes, the drugs part really got me very very worried.

Only Allah knows how I was pleading for his merciness to guide this two children of mine back to the right path as I listened to her stories. I was trying so much to hold my tears back but it was just too much to take. Aida witnessed me crying right in front of her- they were my tears of helplessness, my tears of disappointment, my tears of regret, not with Aida and Haron themselves, but with many others. It just hurt me so much to see how they have strayed. They used to be such wonderful pupils and just yesterday, Aida admitted that she had slept throughout her F&N paper and handed it up in the exact same state as how they were handed to her.

We talked and shared for more than an hour. I know they were just victims of circumstances bad influence and curiosity. How I wished I had been closer to them and had stopped them from drowning so deep. I can hear the plea in her words to help her get back on track. It's not going to be easy to kick the bad habits but I really hope we can work something out together.

To Aida and Haron, do know that they are still many people who cares for you out there, especially me. Think before you act and do what's best for yourselves, not for others. Do not destroy your life and your future because you still have a long way to go. Pick up your interest to study again, and I will try my best to help in any way I can. Do know that I care for you and so do the teachers in school.

Please take care. There is no shortcut to easy life but we need to work hard. I really care for the two of you...

PS: Please note that the names are fictional to protect the identities of the abovementioned.

2008-04-21T13:42:00.003+08:00

K-NITE

Yyeessssaaaa! I completed another marathon of Korean drama- My Girl. Very nice, touching enough and of course Lee Dong Wook looks very charming in the show.
Again I'm envying the flawless skins of the Korean girls..

Now I feel like heading down to the nearest dvd store and getting myself another set of Korean drama series. Hhmm but that's not going to be cheap and I'll end up glued to the DVD player with no other work done; just like how I spent the entire Sat and Sun on my bed shutting my ears to my parents' nagging (hehe) till 2.30am last night. Miraculously I don't feel that all tired today.

I'll update you if I get hold of anything new to my collection.

2008-04-21T13:41:00.000+08:00

2008-04-19T12:47:00.001+08:00

OOOMMMMMMMMMMM

It's been a week since the much anticipated OM competition. No prices for guessing but my silence would already tell the world that we didn't fair good enough... at least in the eyes of the judges. But definitely not to us. We got third. I don't think it's because we did not prepare enough, we don't agree that our performance wasn't entertaining enough. Luck just wasn't on our side on that day.

I don't want to comment much on the final winnings. We have already anticipated that most of the winnings would go to schools A and M. I just would want to believe that there is no biasness in the judging. I know most (MOST) of these winning teams were really really good and they definitely deserve to win.. Congrats.

That was my first OM experience and after last yesterday, I wouldn't mind taking it up again next year, if the school entrust me with the project again. We need to relinquish our positions in 2 of the long-term problems again. I definitely have learnt much and I really witnessed a lot of creativity on that day. Aand I hope if I am given the chance again, there would be more hand-holding by the experts in the school.

I'm just so glad I had a wonderful co coach (16 Fuchun claps for Miss Szeto!!!!) and a team of talented pupils (although they can be so playful at times.

Now it's all over... I've yet to clear up the mess we made of the OM store.

By the way, next year's question is already out. Sounds pretty interesting... very transformer like.

I NEED A CHARGER

2008-04-05T22:02:00.003+08:00

I NEED A CHARGER

I'm just back from a 3D2N camp for the P5s yesterday. This time, at MOE Adventure Camp at Jln Bahtera, Lim Chu Kang. Lucky me got to join in the P5 camp for two years already; last year as a committee member and this year as a P5 form teacher.

Attending the camp with the pupils made me miss my own days of camping and outdoor activities. The vendor this year was better than the previous and I really wished that I could join in the pupils doing all the activities. Playing in the mud (and I really mean playing in the mud and getting all dirty) and going through all the high elements and rope courses. I wished to be that carefree girl again, exploring my limits and fears. I miss attending OBS.

But it was fun enough for me to watch them having that much of fun. And I can't decline their plea to want me to join them in their campfire dance performance. I had my fun too! But one thing I realise, I don't have that kind of energy anymore. I AM GETTING OLD. The teachers planned to ton the night watching dvds and playing cards but I was one of the first to doze off. I get tired out too easily and even now I'm still feeling exhausted.

Got to wake up early this morning to go school for OM and spent the day in school. Sadly my vehicle is failing at this last minute; the pedals broke. But ok lah not too bad.. I still got a couple of days to fix it and get the team to perfect the props and their drama and to synchronise it with the vehicle performing the tasks. One more week for us to give it all out and pray for the best.

In the mean time, I still got to juggle my other work commitments. There's the exam paper to rectify and my pile of markings to clear...

I am tired... I am exhausted... I am burnt out................................................

2008-03-23T17:56:00.005+08:00

KIDS SAY THE DARNEST THING

Just came back from the 3D2N District Sixer's Camp. Thank you Joyce for volunteering to stay over with me last night. I only went over yesterday and I really learnt a lot from the session. It wasn't a training session just for the boys but also for me, since I am pretty much clueless about how to conduct the scouts sessions. Hopefully I get to enrol myself (with Joyce) into the basic trainers' course and do some justice to the boys. Feeling kind of guilty that I have not been able to perform as a scouts' leader (unfortunately all 4 of us are untrained).

By the way.. yesterday I got to join the OM team for a short 1 hour after my Mendaki session. We really got to push ourselves already. Not much time left and I'm really feeling the pressure. Got a relief for my Mendaki sessions for the next 3 weeks and it's gona be OM, OM, OM all the way!

As we were working on the props, I had a casual conversation with one of the member

T: Miss Azah, have you ever been in love?

Me: Why do you ask?

T: Like have you loved someone when you were in primary school?

Me: *Hhmm Miss Azah senses love in the air* Eerr yyaa.... maybe not love but just like...

*Trying not to to suggest anything unhealthy while they are still young*

Ahah... you like someone in school right?

T: *Blushing* Ya... Miss Azah do you still like that boy whom you like in primary school? Do you still remember his name?

Me: That was so long ago but of course I can remember his name la! He is still my friend.

So common tell me who?

T: But S also likes her (Anyway S is also another of my OM members). Ya we both like L.

J: *interrupts from a metre away*

Ya Miss Azah! It's a love triangle!

Me: *Smiling* Oh oh! So tell me what do you like about her?

T: I don't know Miss Azah. Love cannot be explained.... (I tried not to laugh when I heard this. It just sounds funny hearing him say it). I even asked my sister and she agreed with me. I even ask S and both of us cannot say why we both like her.. We just like her Miss Azah..

Love really cannot be explained right Miss Azah?

The conversation continued for quite a while....

I just couldn't help smiling as I listened to him. The whole conversation was just so cute. The way he was innocently sharing his feelings with me and his whole idea of how beautiful love is. I hope love remains a beautiful thing for him, not to be tarnished by some bad experience. But of course he is still too young to really know what it is really all about.

Hhhmmm perhaps all this discussion during Science on the reproduction in animals triggered all this... haha.

2008-03-06T09:30:00.005+08:00

IT'S THE TIME OF THE YEAR AGAIN

I was teaching P5 Science last year... and now I'm doing it again, with two classes. Had a brief introduction of the next topic with 5B ,and just like last year, I was already anticipating reactions...

Some were giggling softly, some were covering their faces, some were giving that usual "Eeee so disgusting!" remark.. and I was trying to put up a straight face.

"So anyone wants to share their comments on the next topic? Or do we already have experts to present the topic to the whole class?" And they all immediately went silent although some were still grinning away.

And so the time has come again for me to introduce the topic on reproduction in animals. Haha so you know why Science is such an interesting subject. And I enjoy teaching the subject so far...

The email which I got today is just of appropriate topic...

Just for some laugh...

A little boy goes to his father and asks, 'Daddy, how was I born?

'The father answers, 'Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway.

Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a datevia e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.

We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:

.
.

'You got Male!'

Kids, just don't get too curious and ask me too many interesting questions.

MONDAY RANTS

2008-02-25T17:30:00.000+08:00

MONDAY RANTS

My brain is in snooze mode. I'm just stoning here in the midst of my messy workspace; hoping that blogging can somewhat trigger the alert button. I should be making my way home now but I thought I just want to leave a piece of my mind here a little.

Just ended the centralised marking for the morning's English paper. And it got me worried... how are my pupils going to cope with the remaining papers. The first one isn't very well done. I was hoping that being in the foundation class could help them to start passing their exams but it doesn't look like it. They are weak.. really really weak. I know I cannot do miracles neither am I expecting them to perform miracles. At this point of time, my target for them is not to even pass their foundation papers but they must at least make an improvement from last year's grades. Fair enough?

Anyway I finally watch PS I LOVE YOU on Saturday night with adik2 and Miss Raihan... yes finally. Now Raihan knows how gembeng I can be ( and I was already trying to control my tears there). It got me thinking a lot. Would I be able to cope with such loss? I fear the day when someone dear to me would be taken away but I must always remind myself that nothing in this world is eternal.

But that movie was definitely worth the money. And next to catch would be LEAP YEARS!! I want to watch that too!

Second Sunday burnt for OM (Odyssey of the Mind) yesterday and I'm already feeling burnt out on a Monday. But I must really thank Hamzah and Leang Kai for the invaluable help. The vehicle is progressing good (although still a lot more work to be done plus the drama) and it's very much due to your expertise. Wendy and I could just render our tiny helping hand to do some simple passing of tools or suggest some what-seem-like-a-brilliant-idea but not knowing exactly how to go about doing it. Thanks for all the time and hard work...... we can't repay you much but 10 cups of teh halia as promised.

PS: I LOVE YOU.. yes you

2008-02-23T18:03:00.005+08:00

The song that is ringing in my head now....

Aisha! Where are my Jason Mraz cds??! I'm suddenly reminded of how fabulous an entertainer he is.

BACKDATE

2008-02-23T16:40:00.010+08:00

BACKDATE

There is so much to update but somehow, I just haven't had the mood, what more the time to really sit down and blog. But let's turn time back today to the long CNY break. Two vios (or vioses?) made their way to Gunung Ledang Resort for a 3D2N stay.

It was a last minute choice of destination but still a nice change from the usual 'Melaka or KL' option. Although we set off as early as 6am, we only managed to reached our destination at noon and by then, the place was already infested with many locals who practically covered every space available with their mats and baskets of mee hoon goreng, nasi lemak and keropoks. It was really crowded I tell you.

Therefore, we decided to make the unescapable drive up to Melaka to pass the day. Mahkota Parade was our one-stop destination for Kenny Rogers, bowling and minimal shopping (and I really mean minimal here). We really had fun during the friendly match between the Roslan and Ridzuan company. Wak Wan really deserved the Star Player Award. By the way, Wak Wan is my father's elder brother. It was his first time playing the game yet he improved from being an LSP (Learning Support Player) to a gifted player. He was slamming the ball onto the floor and aiming for the longkang initially but was soon making his continuous strikes. We really had a good laugh.

Having to miss the waterfall on the first morning, we woke up early the next day for breakfast and started our hike up to the highest possible waterfall point. It was only about 900 feet high but it was definitely a good morning exercise. Everyone made the hike including Mak! The panting and huffing was all worth it when we managed to soak ourselves in the cool refreshing water. And the water was definitely purer and cleaner than down below.

The afternoon saw us gracing the CNY celebration by visiting abah's Chinese ex-colleague at Segamat (I think) and then to an ex- neighbour's house at Melaka. And the highlight of the day was definitely the short but satisfying stopover for durians!

We made another hike for the waterfall again the next morning before we set off for Sunny Singapore. But of course no trip would be complete without seafood. So we ended the trip with a good meal at Senibong. But so sad, there was no gong gong that day. But I was contented enough with the crabs and prawns.

PS: So Azi and Fadhil, on tak tengok PS I love You malam ni? Jangan bubble ah? Or else I'll end up eating the both of you up!

25 DRESSES MORE TO GO

2008-02-06T23:28:00.000+08:00

25 DRESSES MORE

All I can say is... this afternoon was very well spent because of 27 dresses. Definitely a must watch! And I'm all up to return for second viewing with anyone!

And thanks Raihan and Leha for the wonderful company. Perhaps I really can't layan your crazy antiques la Raihan... but somehow you and Leha just reminded me of Don and Drew from podcast!

So kalau nak tengok 27 dresses for the second time (third for Leha) or PS I love You, I wana follow ok!!!!

Yeah and this time, we'll especially take note of how blue Charming James Marden's eyes are

and we'll give a more accurate rating of how a biatch Malin Akerman was in the show.. seems like 8.3 out of 10 is still not accurate enough.

So I've just been maid of honour for 2 weddings... so I'll still have 25 dresses to go... ;p

REMINDER FOR MYSELF

2008-02-04T13:39:00.000+08:00

REMINDER FOR MYSELF

A Beautiful Hadith Rasulullah (Sallallahu alaihe wasallam) said: 'When a man dies and his relatives are busy in funeral, there stands an extremely handsome man by his head. When the dead body is shrouded, that man gets in between the shroud and the chest of the deceased.

When after the burial, the people return home, 2 angels, Munkar and Nakeer(names of two special Angels), come in the grave and try to separate this handsome man so that they may be able to interrogate the dead man in privacy about his faith. But the handsome man says, 'He is my companion, he is my friend. I will not leave him alone in any case. If you are appointed for interrogation, do your job. I cannot leave him until I get him admitted into Paradise '.

Thereafter he turns to his dead companion and says, 'I am the Qur'an, which you used to read, sometimes in a loud voice and sometimes in a low voice. Do not worry. After the interrogation of Munkar and Naker, you will have no grief.

When the interrogation is over, the handsome man arranges for him from Al-Mala'ul A'laa (the angels in Heaven) silk bedding filled with musk. Rasulullah (Sallallahu alaihe wasallam) said: 'On the Day of Judgement, before Allah, no other Intercessor will have a greater status than the Qur'an, neither a Prophet nor an angel.'

The one who disdains prayers (Salat) will receive Fifteen punishments from Allah.

Six punishments in this lifetime :Three while dying Three in the grave & Three on the Day of Judgment.

THE SIX PUNISHMENTS OF LIFE :

1. Allah takes away blessings from his age (makes his life misfortunate)

2. Allah does not accept his plea (Dua's)

3. Allah erases the features of good people from his face.

4. He will be detested by all creatures on earth.

5. Allah does not reward him for his good deeds. (No thawab)

6. He will not be included in the Dua's of good people.

THE THREE PUNISHMENTS WHILE DYING :

1. He dies humiliated.

2. He dies hungry.

3. He dies thirsty. Even if he drinks the water of all seas he will still be thirsty.

THE THREE PUNISHMENTS IN THE GRAVE :

1. Allah tightens his grave until his chest ribs come over each other.

2. Allah pours on him fire with embers.

3. Allah sets on him a snake called 'the brave', 'the bold' which hits him from morning until afternoon for leaving Fajr prayer, from the afternoon until Asr for leaving Dhuhr prayer and so on. With each strike he sinks 70 yards under the ground.

THE THREE PUNISHMENTS ON THE DAY OF JUDGMENT :

1. Allah sends who would accompany him to hell pulling him on the face.

2. Allah gives him an angry look that makes the flesh of his face fall down.

3. Allah judges him strictly and orders him to be thrown in hell.

THOSE WHO DO NOT SAY THEIR PRAYERS OF:

FAJR : the glow of their face is taken away.

ZUHR : the blessing of their income is taken away.

ASR : the strength of their body is taken away.

MAGHRIB : they are not benefited by their children.

'ISHA : the peace of their sleep is taken away.

All I can say is... SERAMNYA HAMBA!!!

SEMEMANGNYA KITA TIDAK SERUPA

2008-02-02T19:35:00.000+08:00

SEMEMANGNYA KITA TIDAK SERUPA

I happen to chance upon this on an acquaintance's blog... and I found the essence of the article very interesting. So I've copied and pasted it here for my own reminder (hope you don't mind ya choosychoose?)

LELAKI

Lelaki bujang kena tanggung dosa sendiri apabila sudah baligh manakala dosa gadis bujang ditanggung oleh bapanya. Lelaki berkahwin kena tanggung dosa sendiri, dosa isteri, dosa anak perempuan yang belum berkahwin dan dosa anak lelaki yang belum baligh. BERATKAN?

Hukum menjelaskan anak lelaki kena bertanggung jawab ke atas ibunya dan sekiranya dia tidak menjalankan tanggung jawabnya maka dosa baginya terutama anak lelaki yang tua, manakala perempuan tidak, perempuan hanya perlu taat kepada suaminya. Isteri berbuat baik pahala dapat kepadanya kalau buat takbaik dosanya ditanggung oleh suaminya. BERATKAN??

Suami kena bagi nafkah pada isteri, ini wajib tapi isteri tidak. Walaupun begitu isteri boleh membantu. Haram bagi suami bertanya pendapatan isteri lebih-lebih lagi menggunakan pendapatan isteri tanpa izin ini. Banyak lagi lelaki lebih-lebih lagi yang bergelar suami perlu tanggung Kalau nak dibayangkan beratnya dosa-dosa yang ditanggungnya seperti gunung dengan semut. Itu sebabnya mengikut kajian nyawa orang perempuan lebih panjang daripada lelaki. Lelaki mati cepat kerana tak larat dengan beratnya dosa-dosa yang ditanggung (ikut kajian laa..)

Tetapi orang lelaki ada keistimewaannya yang dianugerah oleh Allah SWT. Ini orang lelaki kena tahu, kalau tak tahu kena jadi perempuan. Begitulah kira-kiranya.

WANITA:

Auratnya lebih susah dijaga berbanding lelaki. Perlu meminta izin dari suaminya apabila mahu keluar rumah tetapi tidak sebaliknya. Saksinya kurang berbanding lelaki. Menerima pusaka kurang dari lelaki. Perlu menghadapi kesusahan mengandung dan melahirkan anak. Wajib taat kepada suaminya tetapi suami tak perlu taat pada isterinya. Talak terletak di tangan suami dan bukan isteri. Wanita kurang dalam beribadat kerana masalah haid dan nifas yang tak ada pada lelaki.Pernahkah kita lihat sebaliknya??

Benda yang mahal harganya akan dijaga dan dibelai serta disimpan di tempat yang tersorok dan selamat. Sudah pasti intan permata tidak akan dibiar bersepah-sepah bukan? Itulah bandingannya dengan seorang wanita. Wanita perlu taat kepada suami tetapi lelaki wajib taat kepada ibunya 3 kali lebih utama dari bapanya. Bukankah ibu adalah seorang wanita?

Wanita menerima pusaka kurang dari lelaki tetapi harta itu menjadi milik peribadinya dan tidak perlu diserahkan kepada suaminya, manakala lelaki menerima pusaka perlu menggunakan hartanya untuk menyara isteri dan anak-anak. Wanita perlu bersusah payah mengandung dan melahirkan anak, tetapi setiap saat dia didoakan oleh segala haiwan, malaikat dan seluruh makhluk ALLAH di mukabumi ini, dan matinya jika kerana melahirkan adalah syahid kecil. Manakala dosanya diampun ALLAH (dosa kecil).

Di akhirat kelak, seorang lelaki akan dipertanggungjawabkan terhadap 4 wanita ini: isterinya, ibunya, anak perempuannya dan saudara perempuannya. Manakala seorang wanita pula, tanggungjawab terhadapnya ditanggung oleh 4 org lelaki ini: suaminya, ayahnya, anak lelakinya dan saudara lelakinya.

Seorang wanita boleh memasuki pintu Syurga melalui mana-mana pintu Syurga yg disukainya cukup dengan 4 syarat sahaja: sembahyang 5 waktu, puasa di bulan Ramadhan, taat suaminya dan menjaga kehormatannya. Seorang lelaki perlu pergi berjihad fisabilillah tetapi wanita jika taat akan suaminya serta menunaikan tanggungjawabnya kepada ALLAH akan turut menerima pahala seperti pahala orang pergi berperang fisabilillah tanpa perlu mengangkat senjata.

MasyaALLAH...sayangnya ALLAH pada wanita ....Seorang wanita adalah pelengkap dan sememangnya istimewa di sisi seorang lelaki, tetapi ingatlah wahai lelaki...kamu sebenarnya adalah istimewa disisi Allah, maka dengan sebab itu DIA mengangkat kamu menjadi pemimpin...maka dengan keistimewaan itu, JAGALAH dan HARGAILAH wanita sebaik-baiknya...supaya kelak masing2 lelaki dan wanita dapat pulang mengadap Allah dalam keadaan istimewa disisiNYA..

"Berpeganglah kamu sekelian dengan tali Allah dan janganlah kamu berpecah-belah, dan ingatlah nikmat Allah atas kamu, seketika kamu bermusuh-musuhan telah dipersatukanNya hati kamu semuanya, sehingga dengan segera kamu telah menjadi bersaudara dengan sebab nikmatNya.(Ali-Imran:103) Pada hari itu (hari qiamat) manusia diberitahu akan segala yang telah dikerjakannya dan yang telah ditinggalkan. Bahkan manusia itu, anggotanya menjadi saksi terhadap dirinya sendiri, walaupun dia berperi-peri memberikan alasan untuk membela diri "

NEVER MAKE DEALS WITH YOUR PUPILS

2008-02-01T21:03:00.000+08:00

NEVER MAKE DEALS WITH YOUR PUPILS

PLAYDAY V2.08

I can still recall much of last year's Playday and this year I surely had more fun. I was in charge of 5C's floorball team and I was cheering my lungs out for them; they are my Science students afterall and what more my handsome boy was the captain of the team! ;p

Raihan, can guess which one is my handsome boy?
Anyway I was already in semi-holiday mood since after school on Thursday, knowing that today there would be no teaching taking place. I was in high spirits and my 5C floorball team wasn't a letdown. Every match they played was adrenaline rushing and they really played their best. They scored their winning goals in every match and got into the finals. I knew they really wanted the top place. Second wasn't good enough.

Against a very tough opponent, 5C fought against 5G. Every goal and every second of the game- crucial. And I was cheering on for them with sweaty palms cos I was also wishing and hoping that they would win. At the final whistle, the score was 3-2. 5C LOST... and I could see the that sulk of disappoinment on everyone's face. And I was trying hard to cheer them up and giving a mini lecture on sportsmanship but the earlier smiles still couldn't be seen.

However in a twist of fate, 5C was annouced as champions for the floorball match. We were all taken by surprise. Yeah despite the losing the last match, we still had the highest number of points!! Nyehahah!

Yes it was their victory and I had to pay the price....... this teacher of theirs had to keep to her promise. You see, earlier on, when we took the group photo(see above), Mdm Amelia Chua suggested that I pose lying down in front of them and I refused. So I made a deal with the kids that I will only do so if they emerged champions. They kept reminding me of the promise after every winning match and I thought I was finally let off the rope after they lost the finaly match but it wasn't meant to be.

So being a (wo)man of my words, I just had to do what I was suppose to do...though I look like a lost fat mermaid there.

It was definitely THEIR day.

REMEMER JUST REMEMBER

2008-01-28T21:21:00.000+08:00

Remember just remember

by Anonymous

When things are down

And you are out of your mind

Remember just remember

Allah is The Kind.

When your life is in darkness

And nothing is right

Remember just remember

Through the darkness

Allah is The Light.

When nothing makes sense

And you're heading for demise

Remember just remember

It doesn't make sense, but Allah is The Wise.

When times are troubled

And no one seems to care

Remember just remember

Allah won't hurt you, He is The Fair.

When your heart is breaking

And your pain makes you fall

Remember just remember

Allah Sees it all.

When you are weak

And the road seems long

Remember just remember

Seek strength from The Strong.

When life is a burden

And everything is unstable

Remember just remember

Allah is The Able.

When the way is cloudy

And there is no one by your side

Remember just remember

Allah is The Only Guide.

When no one wants to listen

Or is willing to lend an ear

Remember just remember

Allah is always ready to hear.

When you are poor and penniless

And you are stuck in a niche

Remember just remember

Allah is The Rich.

When you are down in your misery

And there is nowhere to run

Remember just remember

You can always run to The One.

When you're all alone

And your pain has no end

Remember just remember

Allah is your Friend.

And when your scars are hurting

And your heart is in fear

Remember just remember

Allah is really here.

In this state of confusion and agitation with no one else but myself, I know YOU are my greatest helper and YOU know all that has been planned best for me.

I WISH TO TURN BACK TIME

2008-01-27T20:51:00.000+08:00

I WISH TO TURN BACK TIME

KAVANA- WILL YOU WAIT FOR ME

I need to talk with you again

Why did you go away?

All our time together

still feels like yesterday...

I never thought I'd see

A single day without you

The things we take for granted

We can sometimes lose...

And if I promise not to feel this pain

Will I see you again?

CHORUS :Coz time will pass me by

Maybe I'll never learn to smile

But I know I'll make it through,

If you wait for me...

And all the tears I cry,

No matter how I try,

They'll never bring you home to me

Won't you wait for me in heaven?

Do you remember how it was?

When we never seemed to care,

The days went by so quickly,

Coz I thought you'd always be there...

And it's hard to let you go,

Though I know that I must try,

I feel like I've been cheated,

Coz we never said goodbye...

And if I promise not to feel this pain,

Will I see you again?

(repeat chorus)

Coz I miss you so,

and I need to know...

Will you wait for me?

(repeat chorus)

And time will pass me by,

Maybe I'll never learn to smile,

But I know I'll make it through

if you wait for me...

At this moment, I missing much a few people.... and perhaps one in particular. Why do I still have to feel this way after all these while? I though I had survived strong.....

and I thought wrong.

The sight of you just brought back everything...arrgghh!

GOODBYE 2007 HELLO 2008

2008-01-02T12:00:00.000+08:00

GOODBYE 2007 HELLO 2008

I'm not the kind who likes to hang out till late at night, what more being out through the night till wee hours in the morning, not unless it's with family members. It's just the way I've been brought up. A strict no no from parents and I don't quite mind that at all. I guess close friends would know how early my curfew can be or count the number of times I lepak with them till late at night.

But just this week saw me and siblings watching two midnight movies, even that with my cousins. We watched 'Alvin & the Chipmunks' (really a must watch!) on Christmas eve, had supper at Yishun followed by shopping at Mustafa Centre. Fadhil was very amazed at the range of things available at Mustafa that he is now considering putting that megamall above Orchard Road. Haha kesian dia tak pernah jejak Mustafa Centre before this. Jakun habis.We were only back at 5.30am with cousins sleeping over at my house after a round of ice-cream.

So Abang Alfa suggested another gathering for midnight movie on New Year. This time, we recruited 4 more new members for the outing. We started with dinner at Marina Square and then headed for a spot near the Esplanade to watch the fireworks. There was a massive crowd and so we did not dare to risk going to far out into the crowd just in case we are unable to make our way back on time to Marina Square by 12.30am. 'National Treasure' wasn't too bad a show although it watched me sleeping for a short 10 minutes. Then supper at Adam corner before the convoy of 3 cars and a bike split for home. It was 4.30am. That was a different start to a brand new year.

I forsee 2008 being another hectic year. I have OM to work on. I hope to be doing part time studying too if my application gets accepted. As I look forward to another year, I cherished many moments in 2007

A full year being a form teacher, getting my four-wheel drive, attending weddings, celebrating the arrival of new people into the world and having to bid farewell to dear ones. It was full of its ups and downs but that's how the cycle of life goes.

Time never goes back. Let the past make me a stronger person as I live the present to the fullest into a promising future.

To all of you out there... here's wishing you a wonderful 2008. May all your prayers and dreams come true.

A BAGFUL OF UPDATES

2007-12-29T20:24:00.001+08:00

A BAGFUL OF UPDATES

Aahhh it's been a long break from blogger.com... basically this december sees me being independent and taking the role of the eldest in the household. With parents away for Haj, I was left to manage the cooking, cleaning and finance of the family.

I always thought that it couldn't be that tough with all the time at home to complete the chores but boy was I wrong. Definitely not easy to be a housewife. I salute my mum for being such a wonderful housemaker... been taking her for granted :).

But it was really good practice for me... and of course sister has been a big help too. And now that I have already started school again since last Wednesday, Azi would have to take over the cooking part.

Managed to get away for a short getaway to Port Dickson and KL (AGAIN).. and this time a convoy of 6 cars. Equipped with walkie talkies in every car, the convoy was definitely fun and easier as we exchanged riddles and jokes and continually updated each other on directions. Good company since my passengers all seemed to fall into deep slumber the moment they get into the car.

6 cars in line

I was on the move with my bro and cousin Hairul in the boot... Malaysia Boleh!!

Christmas was a gathering for my paternal cousins in the new abode of Kak Didi. Western was the theme and everyone contributed to the potluck. We even had a logcake to celebrate the December babies.

The ladies in the house.

The maternal family also came out to celebrate Azi's birthady at Sakura International Buffet at Downtown East... Sushi and durian puffs!!!!!

Happy 20th Birthday Azi- 28 Dec

And finally today REA had its kickstart with the introduction of the initiative to family members and friends. Alhamdulillah it went well. And below is that slideshow that we managed to put together. It could be a last minute work till 1am in the morning but I think it is beautiful.

ADVANCED HARI RAYA

2007-12-12T23:38:00.000+08:00

ADVANCED HARI RAYA

Halooss people... so how's your holidays so far? (eerr mainly for my fellow teacher friends, yg lain tu buat bodoh je la ye) Nothing significant to report here. But it's really nice to have a breather and to spend quality time at home. To wake up naturally without the constant irritance of the alarm clock and having to snooze it for another whole hour, to brush up on cooking skills and to be on the go to chauffeur mum around.

Basically it's just nice not to be bogged down with school stuff (havent been thinking about it at all actually and havent been opening up my edumail either oops). Mainly I have been entertaining streams of guests at my house who came to visit my parents before they leave for Haj. It's feels like Hari Raya all over again. I don't mind the company at all but it can get quite hectic at times when many groups come concurrently and it becomes hard to divide the attention. But surely it would get a little lonely and quiet without my parents around, although I am still entrusted to be in charge of Nabil and Arissa other than my own two grown up siblings during their absence.

Anyhoos.. another thing that I'm a little occupied with is REA ( Rafiq Endeavour Award). I shall elaborate on the award some other time. But those who are interested and free on that day do come down and support our upcoming event ya! We'll be doing some fundraising on that day too! Here's some details for you:

UP UP AND AWAY

2007-12-04T20:17:00.000+08:00

UP UP AND AWAY

The weather was perfect. It has been windy for the past few days and I have been wishing to try out kite flying. Yes try.. which means that it would have been my first attempt at it. Kesian kan? I'm like a quarter century old and yet to fly a kite?? Well there are a lot of things I have yet to try and this is just one which won't be too costly (time, effort nor money).

So today after Cik Ju's house, the kids immediately changed out and we headed back to Woodlands. Parked the car in front of Christ Church Secondary and we climbed up the hill to the topmost spot.
Laid our mat, set our loot of snacks, drinks, rendang and bread.

We couldn't resist the aroma of the freshly cooked chicken rendang and therefore settled on filing our stomaches first. The wind was refreshing and it was just a new experience for the kids and I being on that vast field overlooking the expressway. After licking our fingers clean, we experimented with our kites. It wasn't that difficult at all because the wind was really strong. Our kites soared up high and I was feeling elated and excited at how high they can go until Nabil had to spoil it. He started to panic when the kite went higher and was crying frantically and begging me to bring them lower. (I captured a video of him crying but somehow according to sis, it can't be uploaded. Wasted.)

So the rest of the time, our kites remained just mid high. But still the three of us really had a lot of fun. We continued snacking and and taking photos until more ants and they started becoming bigger, came attacking us on our mat. They must have been attracted by the leftover rendang and lemon barley drink. They succeeded in chasing us out of their territory.

So finally I can declare proudly that I have tried kite flying. So when's next and what's next?

BACK TO A,B,C

2007-11-27T20:05:00.000+08:00

Back to A, B, C

Today was my first session at Cik Ju's house. I'm back to the very basic at the age of 25. Better late than never. I must say bad habits die hard, and this is not going to be as easy as I thought it would be. This is my challenge and no one is responsible for me but myself. So insyaAllah, I have to persevere.

LONGING

2007-11-26T20:26:00.000+08:00

LONGING

This song has been ringing in my head. I miss my friends. I miss you. To all, this song is for you. Do enjoy the meaningful lyrics.

TEMAN by Zubir Abdullah

Kehangatan mentari menyinari pagi
Derusan hujan mendingini panas
Saling mengiring saling melengkapi
Begitulah kudrat Illahi

Kehadiranmu teman bagaikan cahaya
Menerangi taman hatiku yang sepi
Jalin kasih mesra
Kurnia maha Esa
Merestui kemesraan ini

Andai bunga tiada mekar mewangi
Hancurlah harapan unggas menyepi
Andai dikau menghilang dan menyendiri
Ku terapung hilanglah panduan
Bak hujan di tengahari
Panas menduri bumi

Begitulah perasaan pabila bayangmu pun tiada

Keihklasan hatimu menghangatkan jiwa
Kelembutan suaramu menyejukkan bara
Jernih airmatamu lambang ketulusan
Menemaniku di kala kesepian

Teruslah menyinar mentari pagi
Teruslah menari hujan yang mendingin
Menghijau menyegar menyuburi bumi
Saling menjalin hubungan infiniti...

UP AND COMING

2007-11-22T22:58:00.000+08:00

UP AND COMING

Temperature's up and down since Tuesday. And it just got worse after the 'open market session' on Tuesday. It seems that I was buying viruses from the stalls. Was sneezing all the way. So another MC will be submitted for tomorrow. I'm falling sick too often am I not? And it's Mak's birthday too. So good day to take the day off and cook and clean for the family too, or perhaps a family outing!!

I can forsee a very busy and hectic 2008. Firstly there's Odyssey of the Mind (OM) to think about. Was approached my Michelle to take it up this year and I will be pairing with Lena. At the moment I'm still not confident and clueless on how to solve the problem. It's language and literature related which is so not Me nor Lena! Wrong person, wrong person. After two days of coaching and briefing for the competition, my confidence level is nowhere higher but I'm pretty excited to see how this project will develop. I welcome any inputs from everyone definitely. So here's my question:

Problem 3: Classics... The Wonderful Muses

In Greek Mythology, muses were the sourse of inspiration for the creative works of artists and scientists. The team's problem is to create and present and original performance that includes one of the nine Greek muses. The Muse will inspire two people during the performance:

(1) a historical person who made an actual positive contribution to the world

(2) an original, team-created person who tries to make a positive controbution to the world.

The Muse will use the art form attributed to her during two "moments of inspiration", when all the characters in the scene, except the Muse, will "freeze". The team will also create two original works in that art form to include in the performance.

CHIM KAN?!! I really welcome any form of help and suggestion here.

So besides OM, I still have a few other BIG plans. Will not put them up first since it's yet to be confirmed. But please pray for me that all will go well ya. But if everything is really going to take place, then I will really need to manage my time wisely.

JIHADNYA SEORANG TEMAN

2007-11-20T02:14:00.000+08:00

JIHADNYA SEORANG TEMAN

Dear friend, thank you for everything. It was your time of sorrow but you were there for me instead.

Di saat gersang jiwaku

Kau sirami muhasabah

Si saat tandus amalku

Kau suburkan qudwah

Di saat gugur semangatku

Kau bajai quwwah

Ukhuwah itu bukan pada indahnya pertemuan, tapi pada ingatan seseorang terhadap saudaranya di dalam doanya.

Ku harapkan mekar di hati

Agar persahabatan suci ini

Kan terus mantap

Menjadi syafaat

Terukir indah

Si pintu jannah

Imam Al Ghazali

I wish you all the best. InsyaAllah Allah akan memberkatimu dengan hadiah yang lebih indah. Teruskan perjuanganmu. Teruskan jihadmu. Stay strong like you've always been. Till we meet again. Sayang Dja!

THE NEXT CHALLENGE

2007-11-19T11:22:00.000+08:00

THE NEXT CHALLENGE

The school year has officially come to an end. Bye bye my dear 3D, although there are some whom I'm all happy to lift my hands off you. Not that I've totally given up on you. It's just that I'm confident your next year form teachers are more capable of managing your antiques and better at handling your uniqueness. But of course I've witness many of you grow. You have grown into finer girls and boys. And most of all, I'm contented to see how all of you have bonded as a class and developed close friendships with some of your classmates.

So it has been officially announced that I'm taking P5J next year. I'm responsible for the foundation pupils. Frankly speaking, I was pretty much emotionless about the allocation until people started coming to me and asking me whether I'm ready to take it up. And then I thought perhaps I have underestimated the weight of this challenge. Not like I was initially already confident to take it up. I did have that fear but it just escalated after all the comments and questions from colleagues..

But InsyaAllah, I'm just praying that they are cooperative and well behaved. That's what is most important. Once I can manage them discipline wise, everything else should be much easier. And of course my teaching style would have to change. I would have to accomodate to their abilities and learning pace. Please grant me the extra patience and wisdom to handle them.

Well I'm just glad another year has come to an end and I can start everything anew again.
So the pupils are having their holidays soon and I just cant wait for us teachers to have our well deserved break. No more marking now is already a big relief.

ALL PRAISE

2007-11-07T00:21:00.000+08:00

All praise to our prophet Nabi Muhammad s.a.w.

The teacher of all teachers.

Another nice song to share.. and Sami Yusuf is cute too isn't he??!

INSTEAD

2007-11-03T22:50:00.000+08:00

INSTEAD

It would have been today. To see you all smiles. To see you clinching one of your ultimate goals... after all the hard work venturing across many continents to be able to save up enough.

I would have been under your void deck today... perhaps continually smiling at the both of you from afar. It would have been fun to disturb you posing up on the pelamin, with your tongkat and sarban :).

Astaghfirullah.... perhaps I'm talking too much about what could have been. But I just cant help wishing to see you on the dias.

If I am feeling such loss, I'm sure it's a greater test for her. But she has been really strong and I really admire her for that.

And everytime I see your mum, I can't help but cry too.

I miss seeing your number appearing on my hp.

And I remembered you sharing this song with me during one of our phone conversation. Now this song is for you.

Hijjaz (Munif Ahmad)

Kau Sahabat Kau Teman

Telah tiba saat waktu kau tinggalkan kami

Kerana takdir yang Maha Esa telah menetapkan

Sedih rasanya hati ini bila mngenangkan

Kau sahabatku kau teman sejati

Tulus ikhlasmu luhur budimu bagai tiada pengganti

Senyum tawamu juga katamu menghiburkan kami

Memori indah kita bersama terus bersemadi

Kau sahabatku kau teman sejati

Sudah ditakdirkan kau pergi dulu

Di saat kau masih diperlukanTuhan lebih menyayangi dirimu

Ku pasrah diatas kehendak yang Esa

Ya Allah,tempatkannya di tempat yang mulia

Tempat yang kau janjikan nikmat untuk hamba Mu

Sahabatku akan ku teruskan perjuangan ini

Walau ku tahu kau tiada di sisi

Perjuangan kita masih jauh beribu batu

Selagi roh masih di jasad hidup diteruskan

Sedih rasa hati ini mengenangkan dikau

Bagai semalam kau bersama kami

Moga amanlah dan bahagia dikau di sana

Setangkai doa juga Fatehah terus kukirimkan

Moga di sana kau bersama para solehin

Ku sahabatku kau teman sejati

I DIDN'T MEAN TO

2007-10-25T21:54:00.000+08:00

I DIDN'T MEAN TO

I was reading your blog entry and I can't help wondering whether it was me you are referring to. Even if it wasn't me you are talking about, I do admit that I may not have been updating you about things personally. The blog has been a convenient avenue to keep one another updated.

It's not that I'm casting you or anyone else aside. It's not that I've already gained new friends and abandoning my old loyal ones. This matter from the very start was seen as a 'forbidden' one by many. But my intentions were clear, and you can say I was stubborn. Although I must admit along the way I did get myself entangled with my own emotions but I knew I wanted to serve my main intention above anything else.

I know the few people who knew the story from the beginning were very concern. I understand their point of view. I was scared myself initially but I don't know why... I just went ahead with what I was strongly feeling deep inside. Those very few people who knew just happened to dig it out from me. Frankly speaking, it wasn't one of those stories I would openly and proudly tell people about, because I could anticipate the kind of reactions and I don't blame them. So it just became my own personal life story which I pen down occasionally in my blog. And I'm sure from here, you readers could roughly follow the development of it.

I hope you don't feel offended. I really did not mean to cast anyone aside. Let the details of this part of my life story be kept within me.

You are still and have always been a very dear friend to me. Friends cannot be replaced. You yourself know that I'm one who likes to keep to myself.

Anyway I can't say I'm perfectly fine already. But I try to be better. Perhaps I've never experience this kind of loss before...... I'm not questioning God's plan but I'm just missing a dear friend.
But don't you worry ya peeps! Thanks for all the concern. Very much appreciated.

LOVE YOU LOTS! *hugs*

ATTACK KU

2007-10-24T00:30:00.000+08:00

ATTACK KU

Really in no spirit for raya this year..I realised I don't even have any photos to show off. Went raya visiting also just for the sake of pleasing my parents, so I had to dragged myself along.

Anyway took the day off *AGAIN!*. After a whole week away from the pupils last week, I still wasn't looking forward to be back in school. And to make matters worse, I kept having this acute sharp pain on the right side of my head. Imagine while teaching and I would suddenly cringe and hold my head in pain, not once, not twice but periodically. Even some of the pupils were panicking and asking me whether I was ok. I've never had such attacks before and I was telling Joyce maybe I was going to die. Yes it was that painful.

Pulled through the whole day in school, took a nap when I reached home, hoping that the pain would go away but no! I was relieved of the pain only for a mere 15 mins then it came attacking again..I've never experience this kind of pain before and I don't wish to get it again.

The doc said it was stressed induced or I was thinking too much.... Well was I? I don't know la.

But one thing I'm really sad about today is my hp. It just had a mild fall but it decided to end it's life today. I can't switch it on again.... So gone are all my contacts and those precious msges. Now I've gota rely on my memory to remember those nice moments and to all of you out there, do msg me your contact number ya.... my phonebook is basically down to complete emptiness.

A LITTLE TOO LATE

2007-10-22T21:42:00.000+08:00

A LITTLE TOO LATE

You've been waiting for the article to be published but you did not get to see it. It came out today. You insisted that I joined in the phototaking although I felt a little out of place. I was there as the teacher-figure.

DOA PERPISAHAN

2007-10-20T17:27:00.000+08:00

Doa Perpisahan

Pertemuan kita di suatu hari

Menitikkan ukhuwah yang sejati

Bersyukurku kehadap Illahi

Di atas jalinan yang suci

Namun kini perpisahan yang terjadi

Dugaan yang menimpa diri

Bersabarlah diatas suratan

Kutetap pergi jua

Kan kuutuskan salam ingatanku

Dalam doa kudusku sepanjang waktu

Ya Allah bantulah hamba-Mu

Mencari hidayah dari pada-Mu

Dalam mendidikan kesabaranku

Ya Allah tabahkan hati hamba-Mu

Diatas perpisahan ini

Teman betapa pilunya hatiku

Menghadapi perpisahan ini

Pahit manis perjuangan

Telah kita rasa bersama

Semoga Allah meredhai

Persahabatan dan perpisahan ini

Teruskan perjuangan

Kan kuutuskan salam ingatanku

Dalam doa kudusku sepanjang waktu

Ya Allah bantulah hamba-Mu

Senyuman yang tersirat di bibirmu

Menjadi ingatan setiap waktu

Tanda kemesraan bersimpul padu

Kenangku di dalam doamu

Semoga... Tuhan berkatimu

IN LOVING MEMORY

2007-10-20T16:52:00.000+08:00

IN LOVING MEMORY

The four of us paid you a visit today. We almost didn't make it there. It was raining heavily this morning; Hafiz and Ruhaizan thought that we shouldn't make our way there. But alhamdulillah, we still made the trip because Dja and I were persistent enough. And alhamdulillah... the sun welcomed us when we reached. Not even a slight drizzle. I'm sure you were also looking forward to our arrival. I hope you are happy to see us there together. I have been having this heavy feeling in me since last night, but to have all your dear friends with me, it was comforting enough.

As I stood there and looked around the cemetary, I felt scared. I am scared that I'm not ready to face You when my time comes. In what state will I leave this place? Will people continue to pray for me while I await for judgement day in my dark space? Hopefully I can serve my purpose in this life while I still have the chance.

Anyway below is an article beautifully written by Abu Sufian:

Salaam

I dedicate this to the people i know, who constantly worry about, and try to help our youths; who spend days and nights at our mosques; whom i know strive for, and look forward to the pleasure of meeting their Creator.

a few months ago, i made a new friend at the mosque.
that first time when i met him, he was wearing a turban, and i thought, how interesting for such a young man, to be dressed this way, on a rather ordinary day. he had arranged to meet me.

he was a student in syria, and had come back for his holidays, planning to go back there after a few months. in the meantime, he was posted to a mosque here, and thus introduced to me as the youth executive officer at that mosque.

i didn't want to take him seriously too soon, because sometimes after you invest too much time in a cause, the attrition rate gets to you - off he goes and another one comes, the story has to be repeated again.

this friend, however, had other ideas. one of his favourite movies was 300, and he carefully laid out his plan for me that cold saturday morning. excusing his rather military imagery, he wanted to create his band of 300 youths, who would then help to attract other youths to the mosque's youths activities.

i had tried, with other volunteers and personnel, for months to achieve something close to that, and wanted to tell him that it was difficult. i wanted to give him many reasons to try keep his ideas rooted to the ground, but before i could, he showed me some papers, and there were names of youths whom he had already managed to convince to sign up with the youth wing. that was fast. this guy must be something different, i thought.

sometime in ramadhan, i dropped by the mosque to meet old friends, and was pleasantly surprised to see new faces.. ahh, these must be the new boys who have been roped in by so-and-so. this friend, was walking the talk.

we met behind the scenes, at the library, the coffeeshop... updating each other, we would face stumbling blocks, but he would always follow up the next sentence with, "ok, takpe... kita buat macam gini.." what we couldnt do before in half-a-year, he did in one month with minimal support..

along the way, i found out we had common friends, and they told of how he'd come a long way, from days at fmsa, to going to the raffles equivalent of the pondok pesantrens in indonesia, to where he was today in syria. when he himself spoke of syria, it was with much fondness, and a longing to go back there... and to stay there. he also spoke of time spent teaching the religion in london, where he said that people were seeking knowledge. but for the meantime, his mission was here, he knew about the state of youth in his home country, and he had to play his part.

along the way too, i left, confident that the mosque youth was in good hands, and that this was the person to lead the way.

recently in Ramadhan, on the day of the mosque's youth-in-charge programme, some things didn't go as smoothly as planned. i could see him, with the others, trying their best.

last thursday, he was to call me, to apologise for some mismanagement during the event, but we both agreed that it was a good learning point, particularly for the new youths, some of whom were helping out at a mosque for the first time. on the phone, he spoke lovingly and forgivingly of those youths, just being glad that they had turned up to support the event.

on friday afternoon, he called to apologise again. he wanted to meet me to pass some cash from the mosque, and said it was his responsibility to ensure i got it if i needed it before hari raya. i lost count the number of times he apologised.

our differences, if any, were out of irritation. i loved the fact that he would know something was troubling me, and he would just offer his apologies anyway. because its probably something i wished i cld do sometimes.

i remember that smile, that husky voice, that laugh. that tired face which would brighten up once i looked upon it. that black songkok tilted handsomely, and the baggy pants made up of quirky-patterned cloth.

i met him less than ten times in the space of 3, 4 months, but it was always long. we spoke on the phone a lot. to me, seeing him was like seeing any living companion of the prophet.. i could just imagine. never dogmatic, moderate, never gave up, extremely accomodating, warm, able to dig in with the boys, always said what was just, able to adjust and adapt to his environment. that is the friend i met.

on friday night, the eve of eid, on the way back from the mosque, near his home, outside another mosque, or so i heard, he met with an accident. i heard that perhaps, he was tired. the next day, he was supposed to have been helping to coordinate eid prayers. but now he couldnt.

he never got up.

saw him on the first day of eid. a muscular and able young man normally full of spirit, unconscious in ICU. saw his family, friends, fiancee.

i wanted to cry on the first day, but didnt cos we all had to hope for the best.

i had joked the week before with another friend.. eid's on saturday... would u rather go on friday cos its ur last chance in ramadhan, or would you rather live and meet eid on saturday?

on the second day of Eid, Mohammad Rafiq bin Yahya, passed away, unconscious since his accident on friday night.

just like how he popped up into my life, and called me for a meeting that rainy saturday morning, he left.

just after ramadhan, on a night when Allah's name was being glorified, probably in quick, instantenous pain, on the way back from the mosque.

can we all wish for a better end? for all the mudslinging about what jihad is, my friend died in His Path, right there. Probably, God didnt even want him to say goodbye to us. Probably, both of them couldn't wait to see each other.

4 months, in loving memory of a man who served God till his last. we are all for the poorer now.

"we all walk the long road, there's no need to say goodbye"
~ eddie veder

Al-Fatihah,
Ustaz Mohammad Rafiq bin Yahya

FOR KEEPSAKE

2007-10-17T00:03:00.000+08:00

Oleh Farid Hamzah

RANCANGAN untuk bernikah awal bulan depan tidak kesampaian bagi Encik Muhammad Rafiq Yahya selepas beliau terkorban akibat kemalangan jalan raya yang berlaku pada malam Aidilfitri.

Encik Muhammad Rafiq bahkan merancang untuk menyambung pengajian ke Syria bersama bakal isterinya selepas diijabkabul, namun malang tidak berbau.

Allahyarham, 25 tahun, meninggal dunia malam kelmarin - dua hari selepas motosikal yang ditunggangnya tergelincir di Choa Chu Kang Drive.

Seorang jurucakap polis berkata, kejadian itu berlaku sekitar 11.35 malam Jumaat lalu.

Allahyarham Muhammad Rafiq mengalami kecederaan di kepala dan dikejarkan ke Hospital Universiti Nasional (NUH) dengan ambulans tetapi meninggal dunia dua hari kemudian sekitar 9.20 malam.

Allahyarham merancang bernikah pada 3 November ini sebelum menyambung pengajian bersama bakal isterinya.

Beliau juga adalah aktivis belia masjid dan pernah menjadi imam sambilan.

Semasa ditemui di flat keluarganya di Blok 157, Jalan Teck Whye, kakak Allahyarham, Cik Rahida, 26 tahun, berkata adik lelakinya itu pulang ke Singapura dari Universiti Jamiah Abu Nour di Syria, Jun lalu, selepas menamatkan tahun pertama pengajiannya dalam jurusan Syariah.

'Nampaknya, semua rancangan Allahyarham tidak akan tercapai,' katanya dengan rasa pilu.

Tunangnya, Cik Siti Khadijah Ithnin, 23 tahun, yang juga merupakan pelajar di universiti yang sama, berkata kali terakhir beliau bertemu Allahyarham ialah pada Khamis lalu semasa waktu berbuka.

'Memang segala rancangan untuk majlis pernikahan kami telah dibuat. Malah, kami sudah juga rancang mengadakan majlis pernikahan kami di Masjid An-Nur,' katanya dengan tenang.

Sejak kembali bercuti, Allahyarham, anak kedua empat beradik, telah bertugas secara sambilan sebagai pegawai pembangunan belia di masjid tersebut.

Allahyarham juga merupakan imam sambilan solat waktu dan tarawih semasa Ramadan lalu.

Pengerusi Eksekutif Masjid An-Nur, Encik Abdul Rahim Mawasi, berkata:

'Beliau seorang yang begitu bertanggungjawab.

'Malah sebelum kejadian itu, Allahyarham datang ke masjid untuk memastikan segala logistik berjalan dengan sempurna bagi solat Aidilfitri esoknya. Sebelum pulang, beliau juga sempat memberi salam terakhirnya kepada saya.'

I just want to put the above article for memory. Alhamdulillah, I'm coping with the loss better today. Perhaps I have been occupied with the PSLE marking but more importantly, I know that Allah loves him more and that we should all not cry but pray for him always.

Dja (Allahyarham's fiancee) requested to meet up with me and Hafiz just now. It was just a simple meetup under her void deck. We shared our individual stories of his last moments. But hearing Dja's story of his final moments at the hospital before his final breathe, I'm more than sure he's in a better place now. MasyaAllah dan alhamdulillah.

I am missing him, but just as we sat down and talked, it felt as if he was with us. Besides the memories, he has left me with many new friends and I really hope we can continue on this friendship even without him.

AL-FATEHA

2007-10-15T23:50:00.001+08:00

AL-FATEHA

Dear friend,
Your departure is a great loss to many. We are all missing you... we miss your words, we miss your laughter, we miss your advices, we miss your presence. I am missing you. You have touched my life in many ways than one.

As said in my previous entry, I really thank Allah for sending you to me, for this short reacquaintance after many many years of lost contact. MasyaAllah, Allah is so great. You left us suddenly... and it was as if you know that your time has come.

Ya Allah, I really thank you for allowing me that final chance to meet him before he left us. Dear friend, thank you for insisting to meet up that night to return me the things. I knew you were tired and I was still doing my springcleaning for Hari Raya; but we still did. You showed me your Raya baju which you never got a chance to wear. You've showed me your new helmet which could not fit on my big head. You got me to paste that probation triangle on your bike. You polished and waxed your bike while I sat cracking up some lame jokes. But I did notice you were quieter that night, but I thought it was because you've had a long day.

But I still do have some regrets. You requested me to bring down some lontong and kuih raya which I never did. You wished me Selamat Hari Raya and seeked for my forgiveness, it was a long one indeed. Your words really stirred me inside. I was trying to hold back my tears and throughout your speech, I just stood silent, just listening to you. I was lost for words. In return, I could only say "same for me too" because I did not want you to hear my breaking voice. And I still remember your very last line: 'Azah, selalu kenangku dalam doamu' *Always remember me in your prayers*. I was really going to break down hearing that and I just said a simple goodbye and left you.

It was the night of Hari Raya when the tragedy happened. You were on your way back from my place. You have just completed your 1 full month of fasting, alhamdulillah.

Dear friend, we've shared many wonderful times during this past 2 months. I've no regrets. We were sincere in our friendship and it doesnt matter what other people had to say. Thank you for allowing me to be your friend, and I hope I have been a good one.

I will always remember
-31st July when I saw you at my house for the An-Nur youth meeting and how I could recognise you after so long.
-malam 1 Ramadhan when you asked me to read the Quran together with you over the phone. I was so moved by that request. I cried.
-the day I sent you to collect your bike. How you were so excited to finally have the convenience of travelling around.
- the break fast dinner with your fiancee and Hafiz on your birthday.
- all the ceramahs we listened together over the phone played from YouTube.
-and very much especially our very last meetup before the tragedy. Indeed there are many other memories to remember you by; too many. Thank you friend. You've taught me a lot. Now I must carry through all your advices and insyaAllah we'll meet again someday.

I've been rereading the previous entry about thanking you. I didn't know why I suddenly had the urge to pen that down.... perhaps I just wanted to thank you before you leave, eventhough I know I never told you that personally before.

So many people came to pay their last respect and so many prayed for you. MasyaAllah. You have left us in such a blessed manner, no one could ask for more.
Mari kita sedekahkan Al-Fateha buat Rafiq Bin Yahya yang telah lebih dulu meninggalkan kita. Moga-moga dia ditempatkan di samping orang-orang yang soleh dan beriman dan mendapat tempat di taman syurgaNya. Amin.

3 Oct 1982-14 Oct 2007

Life is indeed very short. We can never know when ours will end. Let's make the best of the time we have and cherish all the people around us.

DAM DAM DUM

2007-10-11T23:31:00.001+08:00

DAM DAM DUM

Alamak dah nak raya ke?? As much as I want to immerse myself in the festive mood, there are just so many things to be done; don't even talk about my mounting markings.

Been in school very early everyday this week for many unavoided reasons like hydroponics and centralised marking. And suddenly last night, it dawned upon me that I haven't prepared much for Hari Raya. And so, I managed to go on an amazing race shopping spree just now right after hydroponics and just before school. AndI wasn't the only one~ Mdm Maryanni pun join sekaki jugak :)

And so in that short one hour, I manage to drive down to the old Woodlands Centre to get mine and the other-ladies-in-the-household's tudungs ( as always just the plain AKEL ones will do perfectly fine for me) in all colours but mainly shades of purple. And then I sped down to Causeway point to get the bedsheets from Aussino for the three bedrooms, and so my account statement has dwindled by $250! In just one hour?!!!

But I'm so thankful that I have my Humaira (my kemerah-merahan car) to bring me to places at times like this. Being in the afternoon session leaves me with not much time to do anything else. Terpaksa la squeeze in time whenever possible.

Now I realise.... I don't have brooches... hhmm my nice ones are all worn out. Mana ada time nak shopping lagi seh!!!

Tomorrow, I shall be out as early as 8 to collect the many kek kukus from Nani.

And still I'm wishing that Ramadhan is not coming to an end.

But yet I'm looking forward to the jalan raya with these babes! 281007.. insyaAllah will be there!

I THANK YOU AND ESPECIALLY YOU

2007-10-11T01:33:00.000+08:00

I THANK YOU AND ESPECIALLY YOU

In this short period of time that we got to know each other better, you might have put me through a turmoil of emotions. We were granted the gift of a special bond; yes you made me a happier person, despite all the tears; those were not all tears of despair, there were more to each pearl that dropped. And I want to thank you.... you have brought me nearer to YOU. You were sent for a purpose.

During the times that you brought me down, you yourself called me to seek for YOU. And it hit me hard how at that moment of time, I had put you above YOU. I have to thank YOU for bringing you to me, and I have to thank you for bringing me to YOU. And I really hope this nearness to YOU is not seasonal.

Often enough, when things go well and I'm at my peak of happiness, I tend to forget to show my gratitude to YOU for all YOUR blessings that have been bestowed upon me. It is my weakness to depend on another human being to cheer me up and set the heart at ease....

My fellow humans can disappoint, but never YOU.

Ya Allah segala yang ku perolehi ini semuanya datang dariMU. Aku redha dengan qada' and qadarMu.

Ramadhan is taking it's leave soon. I will definitely miss the solemn and peaceful atmosphere of this beautiful month. This Ramadhan has been filled with many beautiful memories and they shall be kept close at heart.

To all my friends out there.... you have played a significant part in my life too, although we may have crossed path for a brief moment. You were God-sent and thank you for being part of my life journey.

Sayu kan dengar lagu ni?

Those who believed, and whose hearts find rest in the remembrance of Allah s.w.t. , verily, in the remembrance of Allah s.w.t. do hearts find rest...

Although Ramdhan is coming to an end, I must continue not to speak as much evil, see as much evil and hear as much evil.

WISHING AND HOPING

2007-09-27T10:14:00.000+08:00

How I wished the person with me last night wasn't you.
Then it would have been right instead of wrong.

LAST BUT NOT THE LEAST

2007-09-25T02:35:00.000+08:00

LAST BUT NOT THE LEAST

So today marked the last session of M-Power. I must say I will miss my P6 pupils. They may be very weak in their Maths but I'm really glad that they have the perserverance and motivation to improve. Almost every lesson, I will have full attendance and that really pushed me to attend the sessions although sometimes I can be feeling really tired after a day's work.

To celebrate the last session, we broke fast together... we have quite a spread of food; nasi goreng, kway teow goreng, spring chicken, fruits, bottles of lemon tea, epok-epok and a cake specially made by one of the pupils ...(bagi sesiapa yg sedang berpuasa di saat membaca.. ampun dan maaf).

I'm just praying that these pupils get their deserving grades for the upcoming PSLE. Hopefully I have helped them in one way or another and that they will have the undying spirit to excel no matter what. Thanks for being such a great bunch. All the best ya guys! Aza Aza fighting!

CALMNESS

2007-09-19T23:35:00.000+08:00

CALMNESS

A dear friend shared this with me a few weeks ago... and I realised that I have bookmarked it under my favourites. Viewing it again, I remembered why it has been put under favourites. So I am now sharing this with you. Something to soothe those overworked nerves and calm the senses.

THANK YOU AH!

2007-09-19T10:16:00.000+08:00

THANK YOU AH!

So an SMS came just after I finished terawih last night, at 11pm or make that 10.58pm to be exact.....to tell me that my lesson observation by the NZ visitors is cancelled! I don't know whether to be happy or angry- but ultimately it is still a relief la.

Just super frustrated that I was spending my whole day off at home stressing myself up over the lesson plan, searching and googling the internet for online resources since I was trying to really make it IT-based. Although by the time that I received the SMS I might not have completed like 20% of the lesson preparation, but still like, you could have told me earlier man... then I could have really gone to read a book under a tree or at least really slept the whole entire afternoon.

Bluek! ok but I shall not blame anyone.... but the visitors themselves can? Oops hehe apparently they can't stand the heat here and therefore unwilling to hang around for long. *slams forehead*

Ok whatever it is, one balak down and I've finally submitted my Science paper for vetting... and yes I just remembered that I have an assembly presentation next Tuesday... so that's another powerpoint presentation to prepare for over the weekend.

There it goes again. Who needs a weekend planner?!

THE VICIOUS CYCLE

2007-09-18T14:18:00.000+08:00

THE VICIOUS CYCLE

I know i've been dropping by my blogspot like I have the time in the world when I definitely don't. This has just become my outlet to destress... there are many other entries typed but remained unpublished because I just prefer not to have the whole world reading them.

But it still is a relief of some sort to post one-liners and weird things that make sense to no one else but me. Sometimes, there are just so many things bogging my head that I had to force some out to make space for other more necessary stuff.

The truth is, work is overwhelming. I even need to buy time to have my proper sleep and that's what I exactly did today. I got really groggy after just an hour of sleep the night before and I could feel the flu bug coming cos my body was aching all over. Last night was payback time. Once I reached home at 10 plus last night, I just landed into deep slumber with the day's clothes still on... and I slept all the way only to be woken up for sahur, with an even more aching body. So today I had to visit Mr Doc for that must-get-small-slip-of-paper.

This cycle just keeps returning doesn't it? I just wish I could spend this off day resting and reading a book under a tree- that would be really peaceful.... but nope... I'm here slogging on my unfinished exam paper and lesson observation for tomorrow............

And I'm praying for the flu bug to stay away from me, at least for now.

STAY AWAY

2007-09-17T10:20:00.000+08:00

STAY AWAY

I'm super groggy... I'm super sleepy...

I'm aching all over.

I'm seeking.......

for any place where I can lay my aching body

for a minute where I can shut and rest my bloody red and tired eyes

for something that can make me look forward to go through the day.

I wana go home!!! Mak can fetch me from school? I'm not feeling well!!

I'm unrest in all aspect. Someone is just not helping too.

I'm super frustrated with myself!

What is wrong with me?

Can someone belanja me sleep? I don't want food, I don't need drinks. Just treat me some time so I can lay and forget everything.

One consolation, the lesson observation by the New Zealanders is on Wednesday, not tomorrow; which means I can sleep a little tonight.... hhmm perhaps not too cos I stil havent finish my TOS and answer key for my science paper despite working on it for the whole of yesterday till 5 am just now..... and up at 6.30 to be in school by 8 for the oral invigilation.

Don't think setting exam papers is as easy as choosing fishes in the market ok? Cos it's very well not!

I'm in need of a proper weekend.

STRUGGLE

2007-09-16T12:12:00.000+08:00

STRUGGLE

I am struggling between my worldly commitments and my wish to be more spiritual in this blessed month. Deadlines after deadlines and everything just seems like a mad rush.

I still have two major assigments in progress.

1) I have to set the Science P3 SA2 paper.... Due tomorrow. Not even halfway done yet and there will be a lot of scanning to be done.

2) Two New Zealanders are coming to my school on Tuesday and again I've been arrowed for my lesson to be observed. If only I could say no. And they want it to be IT-based somemore! So that means that I would need to at least prepare a powerpoint slide... or should I just bring my kids to the computer lab and let them do e-learning? Haiya headache, but this I shall put on hold for the moment. Must finish up task no 1 first!

3) Markings are already stacking up. And I'm just blogging here to destress for a while.

Anyway I was mentioning about the struggle. I don't know about you people but I have my periods of being more spiritually inclined. Kira tu macam in the mood to duduk atas sejadah lebih lama, baca Quran and yada yada.... tapi kalau mood menyetan malas tu dah datang, kadang2 sembahyang pun can put on hold till the last minute. Buruk sungguh! Ni tandanya imanku masih belum kuat Astaghfirullah! And how I just wish that I have more than 24 hours, I have limitless energy and have super powers especially in this bulan Ramadhan- So that I can do all that I wish and all that is needed.

This is a struggle and this is a challenge for me. I just haven't been very good at time management that's why.

MERINDU KEPASTIAN

2007-09-15T00:06:00.000+08:00

MERINDU KEPASTIAN

A simple song with simple yet meaningful lyrics.... the song's been ringing in my head.

Siapakah gerangan yang sudi menjadi bunga untuk menghiasi dadaku di kala aku menjadi tanah nanti.... Alamak ni bukan feeling jiwang da.... tapi satu soalan cepu emas.

Anyway 2 days of Ramadhan have gone by. Alhamdulillah.. all is well and I have never felt better eversince duno when. InsyaAllah Ramadhan akan menjadi bulan ketenangan untuk diri ini. And I hope it will be the same for you too.

KECANTIKAN

2007-09-11T23:16:00.001+08:00

Kecantikan Lelaki
==============
Kecantikan seorang lelaki bukan kepada rupa fizikal tetapi pada murni rohani.
Lelaki yang cantik, adalah: -
1) Lelaki yang mampu mengalirkan airmata untuk ingatan
2) Lelaki yang sedia menerima segala teguran
3) Lelaki yang memberi madu, setelah menerima racun
4) Lelaki yang tenang dan lapang dada
5) Lelaki yang baik sangka
6) Lelaki yang tak pernah putus asa

Kecantikan lelaki berdiri di atas kemuliaan hati. Seluruh kecantikan yang ada pada Nabi Muhammad adalah kecantikan yang sempurna seorang lelaki.

Kegagahan Wanita
==============
Kegagahan seorang wanita bukan kepada pejal otot badan, tetapi pada kekuatan perasaan. Perempuan yang gagah, adalah: -
1) Perempuan yang tahan menerima sebuah kehilangan
2) Perempuan yang tidak takut pada kemiskinan
3) Perempuan yang tabah menanggung kerinduan setelah ditinggalkan
4) Perempuan yang tidak meminta-minta agar dipenuhi segala keinginan.

Kegagahan perempuan berdiri di atas teguh iman. Seluruh kegagahan yang ada pada Siti Khadijah adalah kegagahan sempurna bagi seorang perempuan.

Sememangnya aku tidak mampu menjadi Siti Khadijah

(cliche seh... :( only for those who few who understand)

CRAZINESS

2007-09-11T00:20:00.000+08:00

AND IN THIS CRAZY LIFE AND THROUGH THIS CRAZY TIMES

Term 4 has begun. I have been quite apprehensive to start this new term eversince my RO approached me to tell me of my new assignments. I have been entrusted to take on 5 Science classes; that's 3 more new classes on top of my 2 currents ones- 3 P5 classes and 2 P3 classes. Thank you for having such confidence in me, but I'm not quite sure I can handle it myself. I was already having problem catching up with the syllabus with my P5F class and now I have more Science classes to add on to the stress.

But I must say, my first session with the P5I (EM3) was pretty ok. Quite a small group, therefore still managable. Yet to enter P5H, and hopefully they are just as forthcoming to my presence. Well I've just gotta do my very best. Term 4 will be a very short one. So I gota straight away go into gear 5 and zoom my way through.

Anyway I think I must thank Azlynna for getting me hooked to this song. It has been the cheer-me-up song eversince it was introduced to the pupils for the pre-assembly sessions every Thursday. Nevermind that I was the one who had to conduct it together with Celine. Knowing that my voice would have cracked those window panes, I was happy enough to just point out the lyrics and sway along with the pupils.

Enjoy this song too ya people! So LA LA LA LA LA LA LA... and in this CRAZY life! And through this crazy times, it's you it's YOU, you make me sing...

You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.

TIME NEVER GOES BACK

2007-09-09T23:56:00.000+08:00

TIME NEVER GOES BACK

It's really strange how I can feel different emotions at one time. I'm still very much the old same girl yet so much has changed and life is still ever evolving. Sometimes, I do wish for times when things were different and not so complicated but then again when I remember laughing and smiling without that cloud of wistfulness attaching itself and tainting the moment, I told myself, this is the life that Allah has carved for me, the life I seek, the path I chose.

Life can change so quickly sometimes, all it takes is a second and before I know it, I'm a different person. I wonder what would I have changed if I had this life to do all over again. There are so many things I wish I would have done, said and so many things I should have fought harder for. There were so many times when I just relinquished control instead of standing my ground and now its too late. Time never goes back.

Change really sucks sometimes because in a lot of situations you are completely powerless, there's nothing you can do about it. It becoming obvious that what makes the passing of time so difficult is that you're left with memories. Things can come into your life and leave such a profound impression only to be taken away. What's worse is that there are constant reminders. Moments when you're in a place or with a person that triggers emotion and thoughts that take you right back to where you were only to be assaulted with the harsh reality that you aren't back where you were and things will never be the same again.

I'm sensitive at times (ok perhaps many of the times) and one of my biggest problems is letting things go, even when I want and need to. I have no one else to blame but myself. But what do you do when you don't want to let go of the things. Nothing can replace what is lost and so memories are it, sweet or painful. Everyone has remnants of moments in time which you just want to cherish and hopefully it can be locked in that permanent folder in your memory space.

The greatest mistake is not to learn from it... but some people just need to repeat the same old mistake before they feel that hard knock on their head. I'm sure in this course of this life that I have lead thus far, I have done wrong to many, albeit in realisation or not. I really don't intend to hurt anyone, but I do have my shortcomings. Please forgive me for all the misdeeds I have done onto you. Please forgive me.

IF I CALL YOU FRIEND

2007-09-06T02:20:00.000+08:00

IF I CALL YOU FRIEND

5 teachers went exploring the neoprint machine in celebration of Joyce's birthday. Unfamiliar to the jap language, we had to count pretty much on our guts and through trial and error, these are the best we could produce. But nevertheless, we had a lot of laughter and fun.

So when's the next time??

If I call you friend,

You will always share a piece of my heart.

I will always pride myself,

To always be true to you.

As much as I need friends,

So must you.

I will also share a place in your heart,

To be there whenever you need me.

I may not be there in flesh, But I will always be there in spirit.

I will cope with your moods,

And try to understand your needs.

When you are angry,I will laugh with you.

As sadness overwhelms you,

We will cry together.

If you feel down and kicked,

I will pick you up and brush away your doubts.

When you think you can't continue,

I will remind you that you can.

As you become discouraged,

I will boost your ego high.

At times when you wish to talk,

My attention will be all yours.

Being a friend I don't take lightly,

It's my desire, never a chore.

At times when you must mourn,

I shall mourn with you.

If you need some silence,

yet not be alone,

We will sit together in the peace of quiet.

When you wish to play,

You will always have a playmate.

When you feel on top of the world,

I'll pat your back and tell you, you deserve to be.

You will never be completely alone,

A piece of me will always be with you.

One thing I can always give,

Is the gift of friendship for you to accept.

Allow our friendship to make you smile,

Bring joy to your life as you have to mine.

When you become confused and lost,

When you become confused and lose your way,

Let me guide you in the right direction.

Lean on me when you need support,

Let me share your sorrow and pain.

What good can a friend really be,

If you can't understand we will always care.

If I call you friend,

You will always know,

A friend you have in me.

Author Unknown

Thank you for being such dear friends... thank you for all the care and concern.

I hope I have been a great friend too, albeit not physically.

TIRAI HATI

2007-08-27T15:19:00.000+08:00

Menyingkap tirai hati

Mengintai keampunan

Di halaman subur rahmat-Mu, Tuhan

Tiap jejak nan bertapak

Debu kejahilan

Akan ku jirus dengan madu keimanan

Tak ternilai airmata dengan permata

Yang bisa memadamkan api neraka

Andai benar mengalir dari nasuha nurani

Tak kan berpaling pada palsu duniawi

Destinasi cinta yang ku cari

Sebenarnya terlalu hampir

Hanya kabur kerana dosa di dalam hati

Telah ku redah daerah cinta

Yang lahir dari wadah yang alpa

Tiada tenang ku temui

Hanya kecewa menyelubungi

Ku gelintar segenap maya

Dambakan sebutir hakikat

Untuk ku semai menjadi sepohon makrifat

Moga dapat ku berteduh di rendang kasih-Mu

Namun ranjaunya tidak akan sunyi

Selagi denyut nadi belum berhenti

Durjana syaitan kan cuba menodai

Segumpal darah bernama hati

Lestarikan wadi kalbuku, oh Tuhanku

Leraikan aku dari pautan nafsu

Biarpun sukar bagiku melamar redha-Mu

Namun masihku mengharap ampunan-Mu

Wahai Tuhanku... Ya Allah....

OPRAH'S VIEW ON MEN

2007-08-21T23:18:00.000+08:00

OPRAH'S VIEW ON MEN

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from
heartache.

Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship
that's not meant to be.

Slower is better. Never live your life for a man
before you find what makes you truly happy.

If a relationship ends because the man was not
treating you as you deserve then heck no, you
can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.

Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you
along, then he probably is.

Don't stay because you think "it will get better."
You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying
when things are not better.

The only person you can control in a relationship is
you.

Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of
different women. He didn't marry them when he got them
pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?

Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If
something bothers you, speak up.

Never let a man know everything. He will use it
against you later.

You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from
within.

Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you
are... even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not
make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are.

Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with
you, he'll cheat on you.

A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to
treat you.

All men are NOT dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the
bending...compromise is two way street.

You need time to heal between relationships...there is
nothing cuteabout baggage... deal with your issues before
pursuing a new relationship.

You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you... a
relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals. Look for someone
complimentary, not supplementary.

Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.

Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know
where you are, and you're always readily available to him -
he takes it for granted.

Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for
a man. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you
everything that you need.

Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Share this with other women and men (just so they know)... You'll make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and another woman prepare.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them

THERE'S NO PLACE I RATHER BE

2007-08-13T00:03:00.000+08:00

THERE'S NO PLACE I RATHER BE

A 3D2N short trip to Malacca over the long National Day weekend. Good time spent with family. Caught up with sleep. Only brought two stacks of worksheets along which didn't take me too long to finish and too much of overseas call (which I shouldn't be receiving in the first place, but no heart to ignore and now wondering how much my next hp bill will be!).

But whatever it is, it was fun. We had rounds of bowling, we had lots of cheap and nice food and most importantly, it was a good bonding session with my family, and of course with Abg Noh's family tagging along, in addition we had lots of fun with Nabil and Arissa.

It just makes me realise how precious family bond is. They are the people who will stay by your side no matter how ugly you may have treated them (intentionally or unintentionally). Afterall I know I have been spending a lot of time at work and tuition. But it's still home where I rather be *Ceh semangat National Day siak!*

WHAT LIES WITHIN

2007-08-10T04:00:00.000+08:00

WHAT LIES WITHIN

Ya Allah
Jika dia benar untukku
Dekatkanlah hatinya dengan hatiku
Jika dia bukan milikku
Damaikanlah hatiku
Dengan ketentuan-Mu

DURIAN CRAZE

2007-08-09T23:21:00.000+08:00

DURIAN CRAZE

It's the eve of National Day and the Hajjah Amnah clan decided to honour Kak Faizah's invitation for a durian session. She's carrying little junior and who would have the heart to decline her craving for the king of fruits, especially not me!!

So a convoy of 5 cars headed down to Geylang around midnight to breathe in the National Day atmosphere, with more enthusiasm over the lemak-tasting durian which was about to come. Of course there would be some spoilsport who just refuse to even take in the sweet aura of the fruit, like my sister *ngada-ngada seh*, and therefore we ended up having a feast of fruits instead. So on the long table were mangosteens, longans, pulasans and even bananas! But of course DURIANS still win hands down!

So would eating lots of durians still meet the requirements of a healthy diet? There is still a packet left in the refrigerator. And I shall attacked them chilled..... yum yum.

SEEK THE ALMIGHTY

2007-08-03T12:24:00.000+08:00

SEEK THE ALMIGHTY AND HE'LL COME RUNNING TO YOU

We have discussed our intentions clearly and openly. Eversince our conversation that night, I have already set my niat straight. It's not going to be so easy but I can, I will and I have to.

I suppose through every conversation that we had, I have been more amazed and inspired. Whatever stories you've told me has made me felt so small, inferior and ignorant. For all that I have been doing and have not been doing.

You are one of the testimonies to His powers. MasyaAllah and Alhamdulillah you have become one of His chosen ones.

DISTANT AWAY

2007-08-02T12:05:00.000+08:00

DISTANT AWAY

The bliss was shortlived. Indeed life is full of its surprises.

Now the lyrics to the song below really has its rightful meaning.

Silap aku juga

Kerana jatuh cinta

Insan sepertimu

Seanggun bidadari

Seharusnya aku cerminkan diriku

Sebelum tirai kamar aku

Buka mengintaimu...

It's a wonder why I am this upset. Afterall it's been only 2 days. But why do you have to make me feel this way!! Aarrgghh

IS THAT REALLY YOU?

2007-08-01T01:53:00.000+08:00

IS THAT REALLY YOU?

Life is indeed full of surprises....

Somehow I'm just praying that something good will come out of this reacquaintance.

Whatever good it may be... a longlasting friendship ? Well there are definitely a lot of things I can learn from you now.

Tonight brought back many memories.... it's been many years since we last met.

I can pretty much remember a lot of thing about you still... and the fact that I could still guess it was you in the brief time I saw you at my house.

MasyaAllah you turned out to be someone I never guess you would be :)

I'm surprised seeing you and I'm equally surprised at myself for remembering so much about you.

I'm smiling still :)

And it just led me to this song... not exactly the content of the lyrics, but just the title itself.. It should be more accurately entitled :

"Mengintai dari Tirai Dapur" hehehe (you know, I know)

Mengintai Dari Tirai Kamar

Dinginnya angin malam ini
Menyapa tubuhku
Namun tidak dapat mendinginkan
Hatiku yang kau hangatkan

Terasa tercabarnya kelakianku ini
Dengan sikapmu menentanglah
Aku ini insan kekurangan
Senangnya kau mainkan...

Siapalah aku ini untuk
Memintal buih yang memutih
Menjadi permaidani seperti mana
Yang tertulis dalam novel cinta...

Juga mustahil bagiku
Menggapai bintang di langit
Menjadikan hantaran
Syarat untuk milikimu
Semua itu
Sungguh aku tak termampu...

Silap aku juga
Kerana jatuh cinta
Insan sepertimu
Seanggun bidadari
Seharusnya aku cerminkan diriku
Sebelum tirai kamar aku
Buka mengintaimu...

Oh man this song is too sad for such a happy occassion!

WHEN PAIN FEELS GOOD

2007-07-28T23:28:00.000+08:00

WHEN PAIN FEELS GOOD

I've been complaining a lot to my sister about the state of my body. I've been feeling very lethargic and sleepy no matter how much I rested. And even after the weekends, I don't feel recharged to start the week; and the markings are just endless. I can never clear them cause they just keep coming! Maybe the only solution is just to quit the service (which I'm definitely not thinking about right now).

Anyway after all the plans and intentions to start exercising again, I FINALLY did so today. Hurraahh!! Must thank my brother for insiting me to follow him for a jog. I got myself sweating and stinking again although I just had my bath before I left. But that was a good start. Yishun gym was closed by the time we got there and therefore we had to resort to running around the track ( I actually don't quite fancy running around the track-->boring ) I was telling myself to go slow and steady... and I was doing good, till we got chased out of the stadium. Since I was already in the attire, I thought that we shouldnt waste the night and therefore headed down to the fitness corner near home.

And with that small start, my legs are already aching. Boy, that just shows how I havent worked out for a very long time. My joints are all rusty and it's due time I get them fixed.
Now the important but tough thing is that I must make exercising a routine once again. I slacked when I no longer teach PE this year (it used to be more convenient since I was already in the right attire for school and gym).

I need a motivator. Who or what? The car definitely hasn't been one.

LIFE IS HARD ENOUGH AND IT'S NOTHING NEW

2007-07-25T15:17:00.000+08:00

LIFE IS HARD ENOUGH AND IT'S NOTHING NEW

1) I know that I can't make everybody happy and if I can live with it that that some people are not happy so be it lah..

2) Mere good intentions does not count..it is what you eventually do that counts.

3) Recognize those people who think that they are 'the quality control kind of creature' of other people or that they are the best and what they think is all that matters: they are just simply morons, discard them and move on with your life.

4) You have to loose some to win some, can't have it all.

5) When you think choosing is difficult, try having no choice, it's worse.

No worries peeps... just some random thoughts :)

WHY DO ALL GOOD THINGS COME TO AN END

2007-07-24T23:06:00.000+08:00

WHY DO ALL GOOD THINGS COME TO AN END

It's funny when I think about it; how I behaved more normally and naturally with you only lately. I dared to be more bold and that barrier which I used to put up between us was finally demolished. Even a friend noticed that.

Why after this long? I don't know myself. But better late than never...ya well although it would have been better if it was long ago.
Oh don't be mistaken. It's nothing of what you think it might be :)

Anyway my clique of friends in school has gotten smaller now that Farid and Hafeez have left for NIE. It's gona be much boring la I must admit. Gona miss their crazy antics and humour. But surely I can still depend on the girls for company.

Thanks guys for all the great times spent. We should go kayaking again someday man.
Ok, I shall get back to my marking. It's mounting and I better clear them off. Gosh term 3 has been really crazy and I'm already worn off. I don't even feel recharged after the weekends.
Any remedy for this tired soul?

Anyway below are some photos taken last Friday during our celebration to commemorate Racial Harmony Day. Here's the pretty ladies dressing up for the occassion.

Me with Aunty Joyce in the.... LADIES! muahaha

Exchanging our ethinicity for the day

Ms Kang, Ms Azah, Ms See, Ms Chen, Ms Tang and Mrs Tan

Aunty Amelia and Aunty Lena

My darlings

My IM pupils during our Music class- with their form teacher.

2007-07-18T23:43:00.000+08:00

BROADCASTED LIVE ON CHANNEL F

I'm kind of nervous about tomorrow. More of scared than excited.
As mentioned in my previous entry, I'll be conducting my community learning observation tomorrow. Surely many would ask what is that all about.

Basically it's just a collaboration between my school with Jurong Primary and Lakeside Primary. I'm representing the P3 level to conduct a lesson which will be broadcasted live to the other two schools. Which means that while I am teaching, the pupils from the other two schools will be watching me from their screens and following my lessons. You know, like those conference mass lecture (haha!) and we will also be interacting and discussion the questions together. Sounds interesting huh!

Hhmm so in other words, if the lesson goes haywire, I'll be doing TRIPLE the damage!! Gee!

I'm just hoping I can have better control of my nerves tomorrow. Well thanks people for putting the faith in me to represent the level, but really as a virgin at this, I can just promise you my best. I've watched Miss Kek and Mrs Tan did theirs and boy, theirs were really interactive and interesting. I'll be doing Maths SAIL lesson (something that can help the pupils solve non-routine problems). Even the class that I'm doing this with (sadly the time doesnt coincide with my form class' lesson) is doing this programme only for the second time. So I really hope that they can remember the routines.

So in order to simmer the tension in me, I shall just regard this like any other lesson observation (but I very well know it's not!) and I have even decided to dress down.

3F, you're the lucky class selected. All I hope is for all of you to be responsive and put on your best behaviour.

Wish me all the best peeps!!

2007-07-12T23:57:00.000+08:00

BACK FOR GOOD

Hello blogspot land. Oh I'm not dead. I happened to survive my own cremation and now I am back. I've just been so preoccupied with school and stuff. It's been relatively okay. Hectic enough, but still okay.

Oh who am I trying to kid. There was never a moment of boredom ever since the new term started. All scheduled and packed to the point that I'm so bored of the extreme busyness.

Okay, so the much anticipated seventh of the seventh of the seventh is long over. The very special day this year everyone wanted and waited for to do special things in their lives. Like get married, get engaged, get moving, get going....you get my drift. Significant, special and symbolic, the repetitive numbers would hopefully attract all the good and repel the bad, balance out the yings with the yangs and dodge the dodgy...forever after. Yes, I know, we're all superstitious and sentimental like that. But in the spirit of hoping for only the best, I'm all for special numbers and special days. InsyaAllah, it'll bring only blessings to anyone who dares to hope.

Kamal(iah) and Farhan did not missed out on this special date to mark the end of their 7 years courtship to embark on the journey together as husband and wife. Being there early for her solemnization at Fort Canning more than just bring back many sweet memories of our days in the yellow and blue uniform. She is no longer the Kamal, with her short tomboy hair... well now she deserves to be rightfully called Kamaliah.

Just too bad, I can't hang around too long at her wedding to catch up with the other girls because even my school wanted the blessing of the seventh.

So Fuchun Primary School remained brightly lit till late night on 070707 which marked the day we officially opened the school at its new premise. I'm sure everyone enjoyed the night. The food was good, the performance was great and no major hiccups spotted.

Whatever duties and roles we played for the night, boy am I just glad that we can put this aside and now concentrate more on our job, teaching.

Got this from Joyce's blog... just some pictures which we took before the night started.

And of course the Hajjah Amnah clan also could not rest for continuous weekends as we were booked to render our services for weddings.

Finally.... I can breathe a little this weekend. Well there's still the learning community lesson to prepare for. I'll tell you more about it when the day is over alright?

2007-07-04T16:49:00.000+08:00

CHOICES

life is all about choices

you are sad because you chose to

you are happy because you chose to

you are lonely because you chose to

you are fulfilled because you chose to

you're stressed out because you chose to

you're relaxed because you chose to

everything is about what you decide to do,

what you chose to think,

what you chose to feel,

what you chose to do,

it's all about choices..

oh well...

nothing forever stays

nothing forever gone

isn't it?

2007-06-27T21:15:00.000+08:00

ROUND 2

Is my mouth smelling of durians again?
Did we just have another round of the pungent fruit?

We are that krazziieee..... YA BOY!

2007-06-25T23:13:00.000+08:00

KKRRAAZZIIEEness

It was a good start to the new semester. Kids were pretty well-behaved; and it made me realise how much I miss them. Well afterall they have been quite a great bunch to work with. The first day was already a long day, with night Mendaki class to slog through straight after school ended. The 'Happy Toilet' team decided to work overtime too to start painting the boy's toilet.

So the usual NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK were all still in school when the clock striked 9. And no we did not head home straight even after the many hours in school, instead Joyce suggested having durians at Marsiling. I was looking at the time but at the same time, I couldn't resist the calling to have the king of fruits.

We headed down to S11, bought our loot; each of us even bought some for home and we sat by our cars (Hafeez's and mine) to satisfy our cravings- also to make sure that I don't collect another ticket. Boy were the durians KKRRAAZZIIEEE! Well durians are always krazie to me.

Our first fruit

Just look as Joyce, and you'll taste it in your own mouth.

Finger-licking good

What? No more?? I'll continue at home... there is a bag full in the car boot! Yay!

*And as I'm typing now, I'm smelling my fingers hhhhaaaaa... nice....*
Indeed today was another day well spent.

2007-06-24T19:40:00.000+08:00

IT'S NOT AS EASY AS A.B.C.

Many times you've said that it's not easy bringing me up...

It's mutual.

Pleasing you is not easy.

I have been trying and I am still doing it.

But sometimes, our wants just clash.

We do not forsee the same visions.

I really don't want to go against your words but I'm struggling inside.

Have I really been that bad?

Well you made me feel that way.....

It seems like I can never be up to your expectations.

But please know, that I still put you both above anyone else although I may have acted otherwise at times- those are the rare times that I just want to put myself above you.

To my readers: Don't say you understand.... cos you won't.

Well I stood someone up today. And I'm really feeling bad about it. It may not be a big deal.. but still SORRY. You pretty well know how excited I was to fly my kite :(

Reflection

Written by Matthew Wilder, David Zippel

Look at me, you may think you see
Who I really am
But you'll never know me
Everyday, it's as if I play a part
Now I see, if I wear a mask
I can fool the world
But I can not fool my heart

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside

I am now, in a world where I
Have to hide my heart
And what I believe in
But somehow, I will show the world
What's inside my heart
And be loved for who I am

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me
Why is my reflection
Someone I don't know
Must I pretend that I'm
Someone else, for all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside

There's a heart that must be free, to fly
That burns, with a need to know
The reason why, why must we all conceal
What we think, how we feel
Must there be a secret me
I'm forced to hide

I won't pretend that I'm
Someone else for all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside...
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside

2007-06-24T00:41:00.000+08:00

MUMMY!! IT'S OVER!!

I need to relish this feeling of complete boredom and freedom before I get totally swamped by work. As the school holidays come to an end, so will late nights, late mornings, lazing for hours in front of the computer and closer to the metaphorical home, much less blogging.

I can't really say that this holidays have been very fruitfully spent, but good enough for me to forget work and just let laziness gets the best of me. The past one week saw a purposeful and interactive reunion of my paternal families as we had the 7 days-long tahlil for my late grandpa with sumptuous buffets of potlucks to end each night. Last Wednesday also marked my quarter century old existence on the face of this Earth. And this year, I really feel that age catching up on me- and receiving many presents from my cousins was not something I anticipated and wished for. But thanks a lot. I was really touched.

Anyway we had our Fuchun Family Day today after the Car Rally on Thursday-where I broke many traffic rules. Why are all the fun stuff planned when school is about to reopen? But nevertheless, I had a good time. However today's rock-climbing activity during the family day gave a hard knock on my head. My stamina has run so low that I can't even complete an easy wall. My red mica darling has proven to be detrimental to my physical state- now I'm packaged with flabbier arms, bulging tummy and inflated thighs. So now I really need to get some inspiration from somewhere or someone to get back on the treadmill.

And I have to quietly brace myself for an entirely new semester by Sunday night (the very latest Monday morning). Please do wish me luck as I continue on my crusade to mould young minds and carry books to even the highest classes whenever possible.

2007-06-16T01:44:00.000+08:00

TO HIM WE RETURN

7am.. the call from my auntie.

It took quite sometime for me to comprehend the message in between sleep and consciousness. He is gone to leave us all behind.

I still can remember how I use to fear him especially when I have a lose tooth. He makes sure that he extracts it... and he has his own ways. I remember how I find it amusing that he can put his teeth (actually they are just dentures) on his palm and then put them back again in his mouth. He loves to entertain his grandchildren with his magic tricks. Yayi (grandfather) definitely has a colourful personality, even as his state deteriorated.

He was just discharged yesterday after being in and out of the hospital. We were all aware of his state. We were ready. His lungs have failed. He was surviving on tubes. Yayi has gone through so much pain and suffering, it is only best that he returns to where he belongs.

I'm sure he is in a better place now.

All my prayers and thoughts to my paternal grandfather.

Hj Karap bin Hj Sukaimi 1920-2007

Now I'm grandparentless.

2007-06-14T23:38:00.000+08:00

FLASHBACKS- HERE WE ARE TOGETHER... TO DO OUR VERY BEST

I got this from Sarah's blog and I thought it's a pretty interesting challenge. Only that I have chosen to name classmates from PRIMARY SCHOOL instead. Since naming all the girls would make this less fun.

Challenge: Can you name 13 of ur classmates in high school (so I've changed to PRIMARY SCHOOL) that u can think of right
off the top of your head. Don’t read the questions underneath until you’ve written the names of all 13 people.
This is a lot funnier if you actually randomly list the names first. No Cheating!

Now this list is not according to any sort of preference. I'm just trying to make it as random as possible.

1. Ain

2. Irwan

3. Syahidah

4. Azrifah

5. Siti Adilah

6. Ahmad Najib

7. Rennie Iskandar

8. Hamzah

9.. Raihan

10. Farhan P

11. Nadir

12. Mustaqim

13. Farhan S

(Can I name more? I can still name more.....)

What would you do/what would happen if you had never met 1?
It would be like erasing my chronological life history from age 7 till now! Impossible to fathom.Impossible to imagine! It's like having a sister less *kan Ain?*

What would you do if 6 and 2 date?
Haha I think Falah would be greatly disappointed in 2. But then thinking back, maybe they did date each other back in primary school, mostly for soccer games?

Have you ever seen 4 cry?
Pah, after all these years, I can't remember ever seeing you cry. Pah is one very gungho lady!

Do you think 9 is cute?
Cute back in kindergarten. More to pretty now.

How did you get to know 8?
Actually not that close in Qifa. Don't think we were ever in the same class, perhaps only Malay class. But we started communicating more since a few years back.

Would you ever go on a date with 11?
Eerr never crossed my mind. We were classmates already since kindergarten. But I wouldn't mind a free dinner date haha.

What’s 7’s Favorite color?
Not that I want to remember but it's orange.

What would you do if 5 confessed he/she loved you?
I definitely welcome that! I would tell her I love her too!

Fact about 6:

I definitely can still remember the 'silly' things we did back in school together. Nah not typing them here. Thinking about them always makes me shake my head and laugh! Blame it on innocence.

Who is 12 going out with?
Never asked... and he never told me about her. But I'm quite sure there's someone.

What is number 10 to you?
A treasured childhood friend. He was my masak2 kaki! haha

Would you ever live with 13?
We were neighbours... is that counted?

Where does 7 live?
Overlooking Pandan Reservoir.

What do you think about 3?
Branded and high standards.

What’s the best thing about 2?
His camera? Hehe

Who is 11 to you?
Friend... family friend

Favorite Memory with 1?
I share too many pretty memories with this girl. Favourite memories will always be the days we spent in Crescent. 4 years being classmates. Aahh one of the favourites would be us doing the mass malay dance in our kebayas! haha rare chance of us doing that again, kan Ain!

That was a good attempt at recollecting all the memories I had in primary school. Many occurances are still deeply embedded in my mind. It has been 13 years since I parted way with most of you. But hopefully all efforts to gather everyone back will continue on.... well we can always look forward to the next wedding invite to meet up with one another :)

2007-06-13T13:16:00.001+08:00

BABIES ARE ALWAYS SWEET SMELLING

Yesterday was a pretty good day... partly because I got to visit lil Rehan and mum again! Rehan definitely got all the attention he deserved cos Auntie Ain, Auntie Kamal and Auntie Ros also came along!

The last time I saw Rehan, he was shaven bald and just look at him now! He already has a thick mane again and looking more like himself (cos now I can't quite figure out whom he look more like... perhaps a little more like the dad). We can now hear him gurgling when we speak to him and he smiles and laughs at our silly attempts to entertain him. And Rehan will always be sweet-smelling even with his dripping 'water battery' (what Kamal calls baby's saliva).

Pah's adorable little boy has definitely grown a lot. But don't grow up too fast ok Rehan....

And Pah, I can see that you have grown a lot too.. (and I'm definitely not talking about size here!). You have indeed learn to juggle your roles excellently..becoming a wonderful mum to lil Rehan and the terrific wifey. May you always be blessed with matrimony bliss and a beautiful motherhood.

2007-06-09T12:17:00.000+08:00

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion:

You have medium extroversion.
You're not the life of the party, but you do show up for the party.
Sometimes you are full of energy and open to new social experiences.
But you also need to hibernate and enjoy your "down time."

Conscientiousness:

You have medium conscientiousness.
You're generally good at balancing work and play.
When you need to buckle down, you can usually get tasks done.
But you've been known to goof off when you know you can get away with it.

Agreeableness:

You have high agreeableness.
You are easy to get along with, and you value harmony highly.
Helpful and generous, you are willing to compromise with almost anyone.
You give people the benefit of the doubt and don't mind giving someone a second chance.

Neuroticism:

You have low neuroticism.
You are very emotionally stable and mentally together.
Only the greatest setbacks upset you, and you bounce back quickly.
Overall, you are typically calm and relaxed - making others feel secure.

Openness to experience:

Your openness to new experiences is medium.
You are generally broad minded when it come to new things.
But if something crosses a moral line, there's no way you'll approve of it.
You are suspicious of anything too wacky, though you do still consider creativity a virtue.

The Five Factor Personality Test

Now this is what happens when I have too much free time in my hands. A blog entry per day? Not that I have nothing to do, but more like I have the luxury of time to postpone doing them. Typical of me, always putting things to the last minute and getting all my priorities jumbled up.

So anyone disagrees with my personality profile above? I don't quite agree with "Only the greatest setbacks upset you, and you bounce back quickly." I'm one can get greatly affected by a bad experience and becomes very wary and paranoid after that.

If anyone wants to add on to my personality profile, just tag it on the left. I always believe that the people around me would be able to give better judgement about me than I myself.

2007-06-08T14:16:00.000+08:00

10 THINGS YOU MUST KNOW ABOUT ME

I was reading Ain's last entry. HHmm I alreadt knew all of the facts except for no.5. I suppose 18 years of friendship do kind of make us know each other inside out. Ok, so I'm one of those people listed on Ain's links of friends... and for her I'm doing this, just for kicks.
The rules are: Once you have been tagged, you have to write a blog with 10 weird random things, facts, or habits about yourself. At the end, you choose 5 people to be tagged, list their names, and why you chose them. Don’t forget to leave a comment that says “you are tagged” on their profile and tell them to read your latest blog. -Unquote Here goes..

1) I have this weakness for pretty clothes and shoes. It's ok if they look retarded to some and they don't have to be expensive. And so window shopping is not something I can quite stick to because no matter how broke I am, I can dig deep into my wallet just to make a purchase of something I really like. So in short, I am a SHOPAHOLIC.

2) People often say that I am a very JOVIAL person. Always with smiles and laughter. All I can say to that is, if my smiles and laughter can make someone else's day, then why not?! I rather leave people with that impression that I am a jovial and happy person and that is what I wish to be.

3) Just like Ain, I CAN'T SWIM and like her too, I have attained my bronze cert for swimming. How I got it? Don't ask. I just had to get myself out of the it's-compulsory-if-you-don't-have- atleast-a-bronze swimming lessons. Not that it was so dreadful. I had lotsa fun with the girls but it's more of being in swimsuit and the idea of a group of teenage girls having beginners swimming lessons in a public pool.

4) I'm up for any type of ADVENTURE. To date, the biggest challenge I've put myself to is climbing up Mount Kinabalu. To many, it might have been a relatively easy challenge as compared to overcoming the other mountains, but reaching the Low's Peak was really a great self-achievement for me. My next mountain.... eerrr let me get my stamina back first. Any other form of adventures to recommend me? The tudung is certainly no excuse. And I welcome water sports too so long as the life vest is provided :)

5) Owner of a mica VIOS since 3 months ago. Alhamdulillah I'm enjoying the convenience so far. But of course now must really manage my finances carefully. And therefore fact no 1 has to be of less priority now.

6) I love children especially BABIES!! And would love to have one of my very own too! haha... *so can I have one legal one of my own without having to get married? cos otherwise it might take me too long to have one. I'm definitely not talking about shotgun here.

7) I am quite PARANOID and FICKLE. My stand can be easily swayed by persuasions from close friends and family members. And that's also because I love these people too much to turn down their wishes. So please know that I do love you people that much ok.. although I might not have said it.

8) I love japanese food and seafood but hate cockles, oysters and whatever similar. I love cheesecakes and DURIAN. Hhmm My list of favourite food can go pretty long so I shall end it here.

9) I am SELENGER and very bad at road navigations. And when I say bad, it's really really bad. I also have difficulties figuring out the street directory ;p. I'm sure many would have known this fact about me.

10) I am more than just the 9 things stated above. But since I'm suppose to just state 10 in this list, these are all that I will share. The rest is for me to know for you to find out.

The 5 people that I choose to do this: Anyone who has the time to spare la ya. I shall not impose this on anyone. But hey there's no harm revealing more about yourself right?

Anyway below are some random photos of us at the airport yesterday. Sent Paman Li and family off for their umrah. I was supposed to join them but... Nevermind perhaps it's not my calling yet. Someday insyaAllah.

With 3 of my favourite cousins

Sisters

2007-06-07T22:51:00.000+08:00

WE HAD JOY(CE), WE HAD FUN

I've been staring at this posting page for quite some time. There is so much that I want to write in this entry but yet I don't quite know what to write.

It's funny how I felt such joy and happiness the last three days, that I felt extreme heaviness in me as I go through the custom checkpoint; knowing that the trip was coming to an end and that the company would be greatly missed.

Not that going back to the family is entirely bad * and I was really missing my bed*, but I don't know.....

I definitely had fun. Company was great. Everything went smoothly and I'm just glad that all of us got back safe and sound. I was definitely feeling the pressure of being responsible for the passengers in my car, and Farid leading at the speed of 170km/h wasn't helping at all.

But alhamdulillah...

I would really love to do this again someday... but then again, if I'm granted the chance to.

These are some of the very few photos we took during our short escapade to PD and KL. Too busy having fun that we forgot all about the camera... very bad.

.the ladies with their killer shot.

.the great company i was talking about. .we strayed away from the rest for hafeez to have his first street hawker food.
.kenny rogers is a must!.

.while waiting for the hot wheels to have their spa bath. look at my eye bags!!!!!!.

The fun and laughters that we had will be deeply embedded in my memories. Once again thank you people for the wonderful time.

I'm missing a particular company. Badly.

2007-06-03T17:59:00.000+08:00

AWAKENING

I spent the whole of my first week of the school holidays serving my TWA (Teacher's Work Attachment). Just a short 4 days (since Thurs was Vesak day) but it was enough for me to gain much from the experience.

I was attached to NUS museum, which I never knew of its existence despite my three years studying there but am very glad of the discovery, together with Siti Sarah from Greenwood Pri.

Colleagues for a week- Siti Sarah and me!

One very heartwarming experience was interacting with the 3 groups of IMH residents who came to visit the museum. Seeing them, brought about this deep sense of gratitude and thanks to HIM from granting me this strength and sanity to overcome all the challenges in life so far. To HIM I shall reserve my faith.

And just yesterday, I joined Mdm Jawiah and a few of her pupils to do some volunteer work at YMCA. We did tile paintings with the Y-stars members who are basically people who suffers from Down Syndrome. And yet again, it triggered a lot of self-reflection, I'm sure for the pupils too.

Me and Aaron... He's a fan of Aaron Kwok, for the very obvious reason.

Khairulsham and Sufiyan showing off their talents.

What more do I need to complain about? I've been granted with many luxuries in life. I shall not compare myself with those who are more fortunate for then all will never be enough. Indeed everyone has been promised their share of sweetness and bitterness...

Thank you Allah for all that I've become.

2007-05-27T17:31:00.000+08:00

FUCHUN'S TOP MODEL

I've been wanting to put up this entry.. but time just did not permit. Even now, I'm stealing time while folding the laundry and anticipating a shout out from my mum to help her in the kitchen. So we shall make this short and sweet.

So last Thursday, Fuchun Pri celebrated Earth Day by having a fashion parade. Being the second last day of the term, most of the pupils were in much hype and spirit to put in their best to come up with a costume for their class, all made of recycled materials.

I was no exception. I really wanted to take this chance to let the class show their unity and togetherness. I was determined to contribute to our class costume to make sure that we would make an uproar impression on stage. But well.. it was all just a plan. All because I did not anticipate having so much administrative work to be completed before the term ended. So after much deliberation, my class' costume was still just a bare top and a skirt which was contributed by 2 of the pupils, Yew Ting and Safiyyah. So just the day before the competition, I made another plea to the class *which apparently worked!* to go home and make some simple accessories for our class rep to wear, so that she will look more presentable. By then, winning was no longer my main concern. I just wanted Safiyyah, who was representating the class, to feel good modelling the costume up on stage.

And whoala!! The very next day, Bryan and Eik Joo came up with wonderful stuff!! A pair of magnificient-looking wings and a wand respectively. All the moodiness that I was feeling earlier part of the day *refer to blog below* gone and I was again excited about the parade.

P3A definitely deserved to win the first prize... just look at their elaborate costume! And my class won third. I was really proud of them. It is totally the class' effort.

The class in celebration!

Calvin Klein, Guess, Prada.. whatever.. you name it!

Our very own Tyra Banks

But once we got back to class.... it was back to serious stuff again. I was back to my bad mood... simply because they just can't follow simple instructions and I was running out of time to complete many things * sorry kids :(*

2007-05-24T07:52:00.000+08:00

MOODY

In school as early at 7 two days in a row...... I'm all sleepy.

Just read something.. and it's not making me feel any better, just much worse.

I wish I can be invinsible...

Don't talk to me ok!

2007-05-24T00:31:00.000+08:00

COLLISION

Again today, I'm not one with my feelings.

Suddenly I'm scared to feel.

I'm scared to hope.

I want to go back into hiatus.

I wish to eliminate all that's inside me

my thoughts, my wishes, my feelings.....

Just because I do not want to have to know that it's all a mistake.

I'm feeling like this more often now.

In a way, I'm wishing my thoughts are carefree once again......

It's not a nice feeling when the mind and the heart start colliding :(

2007-05-21T22:42:00.000+08:00

IT TAKES SOME WORDS TO MAKE AN ACTION

After much contemplation......

I completed it and gave it to the intended.

Nothing too sophisticated, just something I enjoyed doing, and pretty much satisfied with the end result.

And with that, I think I've reached my limit.

I have done enough.

Now I will just sit around.

Let's just wait and see.

IT'S HUNG!! :)

Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful.....

2007-05-17T23:13:00.001+08:00

THE DEPARTURE

Al-Fateha to our dearest friend, Rohaizam Bin Tumadi who has returned to HIM on 15th May due to a mishap up on Mt Ophir. It was definitely a shocking news to many of us.

I may not have taken the effort to know him very well. But his performing talents and wittiness cannot go unnoticed during our short 3-weeks YEP trip to India back in 2004. And last year, we were also tutoring at Greenridge Primary together for Mendaki classes. He may not be in my list of close friends, but his departure has left a great impact on me.

Our death is unknown. When it's time to go, we will return to whom we came from, alone. Am I prepared for my fateful day?

Now as I look at the India photos hanging on my workspace, I can only offer you my prayers.

May you be placed among the best.

2007-05-05T22:39:00.000+08:00

ENERGY LEVEL: LOW

I'm away from school on 2 days mc. I finally had to drag myself to the doctor just to get the mc, not so much to get myself medicated and advised. It's always the same old pills and syrups which I will always not finish anyway. Just a less than 5 minutes chat with the doctor and he's easily earning my hard-earned 30 bucks.

I was deliberating taking the mc actually. Usually I will just survive through the days even with my running nose, cough or even the slight temperature. Ok maybe I'm spreading my germs to my pupils as well, but hey I feel more responsible for them to have a fruitful day in school and to complete the syllabus *well hopefully their time is never wasted during my lessons la*. But since yesterday, I was starting to lose my voice and I practically lost it this morning. So I had to call up the school clerk to report my absence. Even she had trouble figuring out my words!

Finally today after so so long, I get to wake up much later (10am) and even then I had to make a quick trip to school (while everyone else was having contact time) to grab all my work back. At least more time in my hands to catch up and clear more things at home.

Tomorrow will be another break. I better complete all my admin stuff that needs to be done. The deadline's on Friday and there will be too many things to do if I stagger them any longer.

Anyway I'm torn. Too many people are asking me to go on a holiday with them! And how I wish I can go for everyone of them but surely I can't la. So I shall only go for one due to time and financial constraint and of course parental consent.

Eerr whichever I am finally going for *if my parents grant me the consent in the first place*, I hope the other parties will not get offended. I really really would love to go with everyone. I'm torn!! But I think I've made my choice.... and now it's all up to

my parents. Wish me luck!

Anyway here's a couple of photos of Little Rehan whom I mentioned in my previous entry, and of course with Auntie Ain too!

2007-05-02T20:42:00.000+08:00

A BREATHER

Yay yay I finally paid my overdued visit to see Little Rehan. Managed to slot in some time last Sunday right after tuition with Hakim. Boy~ he's already a big boy. Just four weeks after last visit on his day of birth, he has already undergone a lot of development.
The head's already shaven, he has braved through the pain of being circumcised, he no longer looks that much like Pah, but of his dad and also I can see that he's now thinking very hard of how he can save the world!!

You won't understand that last bit till you visit him for yourself. He often has that 'thinking' look. The frown on his forehead and that intense face as if something is really bugging him. *Must wait for Ain to pass me the photos and I will post them here for you to see*
Well apakan tidak. Little Rehan has been exposed to world news, to the fluctuates of the stocks and shares, to the woes and troubles that the world faces by his grandpa. Haha it was really funny to see how the grandad and grandson bond. But I'm sure, Rehan darling will grow up to be a bright and intelligent boy *Amin*

Looking forward to my next visit! Don't grow up too fast ya... anyway what's the rush. In the meantime, you should just enjoy all the attention everyone is showering you.
Anyway I hope everyone had an enjoyable Labour Day. I would love to have a day of just watching tv and resting at home; better if I don't have to worry about work and markings. But at least I took a short break for myself yesterday. Went across the causeway with the extended family to Pendas for SEAFOOD!!! But I don't quite enjoy yesterday's meal. Our favourite spot was closed for the day so we had to settle for a nearby alternative. Though I didn't quite enjoy the prawns and crabs *oh I must say that I'm crazy over prawns and crabs* the company was great.

A convoy of 6 cars.

Peeking at what's in between the legs....

The adorable youngest member of the troupe. Adlin Afiqa.

Fiqa, giving that undertaker look.

HHmmm come to think of it, it's been a long time since I went out with my paternal cousins. I should organise an outing soon.... Sushi at JB sounds great too!

2007-04-27T23:25:00.000+08:00

EXAM FEVER

Before I could surface to breathe.... I am drowning in my pile of work again.

I had to desperately request for a relief for today's M-Power class. I wished I could be out partying instead but no.. I was still trapped in school, buckled to my seat, glued to the laptop just struggling to complete the holistic report remarks for my class.

Sadly, I didn't get to complete the task. I had just 5 pupils left but the auntie was already frantically chasing us out on the dot at 9 p.m. For those non-teachers out there who find it amusing that we work till that late, it is a normal scene to be in school from morning till the gate closes. I sometimes wish that I can just camp there! Saves me all the hassle of travelling home. Afterall it's pretty much just to sleep. They just need to construct toilets in the staffrm and whoala! the staffroom becomes the most conducive place to work in even with the security alarms activated. I'm already equipped with my pillow, snacks and music to keep me going all night long.

And so Sa1 unofficially already begun with oral which started last Monday. A week more to go to the written paper and the teachers are also hit by the exam fever.

1) Rushing to complete the syllabus and revise for the exam

2) Clearing the stacks of marking for the pupils to bring home to revise

3) Typing in reports and remarks for the pupils' holistic report cards

4) .............................................................

5)...........................................

100) Periodically checking on our sanity level

And in the midst of all the hecticness, I'm already hearing plans of going on holidays this coming June. Not that long a break granted this time with the official opening preparations for the big day on 07/07/07. I have lots of plans listed, but which one will happen is still unknown yet. Just hoping that the one on the top of my list is granted InsyaAllah.

Sometimes, I'm amazed at the amount of work teachers can juggle. We are such supercreatures! Many would have crumbled after being in this job for a few years. I really salute all those teachers who have clinched their long service award.... hopefully I'll achieved mine too! Surely I'm in this job because He knows that I am capable of juggling it. Whether I work smartly or not, I don't know. So long as I still feel the satisfaction after a long tiring day, I'm contented.

Anyway Azlynna, I saw Susan leaving school with another guy just now. It wasn't Mike. He has been waiting for her behind outside the staffroom from 7 till she left at 9. Hhmmm I don't wish to intrude much into the love triangle? square or perhaps even a hexagon... but all I know is I share Helen's pain and hurt over Mike's decision. *How could Mike do that to her!!!!* I can't help but notice them even more in school now.....*bblleeaarrgghh* Ok maybe I'm being a little prejudice here. Afterall I only heard one side of the story. Whatever it is, Mike is still my colleague. We've been working closely together and he has been nice and still prefer him to remain that way in my eyes. I should and will not let this change totally the good impression I have of him.

Oh well the circle of life.What goes around, comes around.

Ok enough said. I should be marking rather than ranting away here. Or sleep the very least.... and that's just what I want to do next *yawn...*

GOODNIGHT PEEPS

2007-04-22T23:32:00.000+08:00

BLESSED

I can feel this tingle of elation in me and I am not quite sure why.... ;p

By the way... the few Fuchunians went down to Joyce's chalet today to celebrate in advance Lena's birthday. Despite the extended invitation, only the few 6 of us made it today. Just the exclusive 6 of us beginning teachers..... which I suppose made it all the more fun....chatting, taking lots of photos and chilling out.
Here are some photos to share....

Despite our mounting workload, neverending markings, endless duties on top of other personal problems and sorrows that each of us face, we have stood by one another through this challenging journey.

Thank you for keeping me sane, for lifting me up when I was down, for the undying encouragement to pull myself together in facing all the obstacles.

And of course for being one of the reasons I look forward to school.......

Thanks peeps for always being there for me. And I hope I have been able to provide with you guys with the same strength too... if not more.

And to my other buddies like Ain, Azrifah (I still havent pay you my second visit), Aisha, Kak Mus and Anisa, whom I havent met up with for a long time, you are never forgotten. Do know that I'm here praying for your eternal happiness too ya! We'll meet up someday soon insyaAllah.

I'm feeling good tonight :)

2007-04-21T16:15:00.000+08:00

mu: WHOEVER YOU R...

I'm in love with this brand mu. I'm given no commision for advertising them on my blog.... but I thought I should share this new love of mine with all of you! Must share good things mah!

Anyway it's located at

#04-08 B/C The Heeren

I bought my third piece today and I so love many of their things. But just let me warn you that their clothes are out of the norm. Lopsided sleeves and buttons, asymetrical tops and bottoms... yet the design still looks simple and that is what I can call fashion!

Ya ya of course you might end up being called spastic just because it might look like you've missed a buttonhole or something (RIGHT AZLYNNA??! -_-) or on the other end you might get comments that it looks like designer clothes (OH YES I SO AGREE WITH YOU ARYANE :)) Whichever end the comments fall, can I state it again, I simply love their clothes! This shop has become my must-go each time I step into town.

But of course I will have to improvise my own style of wearing them but that's no problem at all. So you people must go check out the shop too ok! It's very near the escalator.... on the 4th floor of Heerens!!

I shall not reveal my new top here. Let's see whether Azlynna will give the same comment :p

Anyway my main purpose of going down to town was actually to support 'The Pink Charity Bazaar right in front of Ngee Ann City'. It was organised in support of the Breast Cancer Foundation. I was there just in time to catch the performance by the Police Combo Band. They were really good and entertaining I must say. Gona miss attending their performances since Abah has already retired from the force. Actually another reason why I was there was to see how my stall sign board looks hanging up there.

Kak Rossuita ( my school clerk who also happens to be my dad's ex-colleague's wife) approached me to help her with the sign board. I must admit that last week was a pretty busy week but I didn't have the heart to turn down her request. Firstly because it was for charity and secondly it's something that I enjoy doing! So last Wednesday night I slogged through the night to get it done. Boy can I actually stay up will about 3am to complete it all. My mum was commenting, "Kalau mark buku, 10 minit je dah ngantuk nak tidur. Buat benda macam gini terbeliak mata!" (which translates to if I was marking my books, I would be going off to sleep in 10 minutes yet I can be so wide awake doing these sort of things). How true. The rubbish answers and atrocious handwriting of some of my pupils just turns me off.

So here's the product... nice? Quite satisfied with it.... and it's in all shades of pink seh how can I not love it! Hopefully the stall manage to win the best stall award.

2007-04-20T22:48:00.000+08:00

NOT ONE WITH MYSELF

This past week I have been thinking alot (well more at least) about my life.

.....Alhamdulillah, I have achieved many great things; I've got through my education without much hiccups, settling well into my job, owe my own car... eerr what else can I list down? Seems like not that many great things afterall.

Or perhaps I'm just listing the materialistic part of it.... but then again, is there any other things worth mentioning? I don't know really.

Maybe because I'm suddenly feeling this heavy but empty feeling in me. It's like feeling love and hatred at the same time at myself. Being overwhelmed with work can sometimes just make me unconscious to my surroundings and not able to get in touch with my own feelings and thoughts.

Definitely, there are a lot more things that I wish to achieve. Not that I'm a high flyer. Many of these things might be simple things that many have been doing but I haven't been granted the freedom or chance to do. Some are hindered because I care too much about offending others. I was scared to trigger the anger button, I was terrified over people being displeased with me. It hard to describe these feelings.

I wonder for a moment how it was like to lose control of myself and self meaning, break lose and go against all boundaries.....

Or am I behaving just like the elephant?

But then again, it always comes back to the idea of what's wrong with making others happy? Especially when they mean so much to me? Although all these while I may not have shown that much outwardly affection and care towards them? I'm just the girl who rather hides her true emotions behind her laughters and smiles. I would rather just stay silent that to go against their words. But is retaliating silently inside just as bad?

I don't know.

Seriously, I hate thinking about it.... it just makes me hate growing up. To grow up yet not being able to think for myself. Not being able to distiguish what's right and what's wrong.

But then again who defines the right between the wrong??

For a moment of rarity, I wasn't one with ME.

All the materialistic ideals are definitely all that matters but more importantly...

LOVE
The special feeling that makes you feel all warm and wonderful.

RESPECT
Treating others as well as you would like to be treated.

APPRECIATION
To be grateful for all the good things that life has to offer.

HAPPINESS
The full enjoyment of each moment. A smiling face!

FORGIVENESS
The ability to let things be without anger.

SHARING
The joy of giving without thought of receiving.

HONESTY
The quality of always telling the truth.

INTEGRITY
The purity of doing what’s right, no matter what.

COMPASSION
The essence of feeling another’s pain, while easing their hurt.

PEACE
The reward for living the 10 Most Important Things.

2007-04-05T21:31:00.000+08:00

THE ADVENTURE OF FOUR FRIENDS

Still unpacked and not mentally ready to wake up as early as 5 tomorrow.
Meeting point: Pantai Lido at 6.30am
Freaking early and now I'm just feeling drained out of energy with aching arms.
Yessah! It happened! We did go kayaking just now at East Coast. Hafeez, Farid, Lena and I. Too bad Joyce was itching to perm her hair instead. You missed all the fun!

Anyway it was a great kayaking adventure. A great way to spend the afternoon basking in the sun, in the midst of the vast ocean. Perfect way to destress with the wind blowing in the hair (and through my tudung) and getting ourselves saltishly wet.

But I must say, the rowing back part was a challenge. Just chilling under the sun, away by the waves, we did not realise that our kayaks got drifted so far away. It was really tough going against the wave to finally reach the shore after almost half and hour. Many things went through my mind as the sea got choppier and Lena and Hafeez were left very far behind. It comes to the state that all I want to do is reach to the shore safely fast so that I could send for help if any of them needs it.

Yes I was feeling a little scared as I braved through the waves and even Farid who was initially kayaking nearby me has drifted far off. Apparently that boy got attracted to a school of jumping fishes and so diverted further away... perhaps he was just hallucinating cause he didn't get to see any up close.

But hey all are safe and happy after a good meal at the nearby food centre.

That was indeed a fun destressing session. Let's have another one when Kat recovers ok?!

Now the most important question is: Will my parents trust me to drive my new car alone up Port Dickson? Well I am not sure myself but I want to try... please....

2007-04-05T10:27:00.000+08:00

PLAY DAY V1.07

Hurrah to the upcoming long weekend! Actually for the Fuchunians the weekend kind of starts today. It's PLAY DAY V1.07 today. Our own version of the conventional Sports Day whereby you get to see only a few pupils running around the stadium.

This year, we decided to include every pupil in the game. So we have interclass floorball, captain's ball, ultimate frisbee and also telematches. In this way, none of the pupils will feel left out. Isn't that great? But at the same time, it doesn't quite feel like Sports Day without the 100m (and the others alike) race and relays.
Sorry no photos to show off since I did not have my camera with me today. Now I'm just blogging away while taking a short break from my shift.

By the way, an unfortunate event had befell a colleague of mine yesterday. And I'm really hoping that she's feeling better now although I know I'm sure she's in greater pain today once the the bruises start appearing. I'm just glad I managed to do her the favour of bringing her over the causeway to the safe hands of her family, oklah perhaps at the expense of Farid's rest and car (just because my dad don't trust me to drive over to JB alone! :( ) So Kat, have a good rest at home and don't move around too much ya!

And early tomorrow morning, I'll be setting off to Port Dickson with cousins and sister!! Another HURRAH!! Still have not decided whether I should drive since I will not be assisted by another co-driver in the car, but can I be allowed the adventure please, Mak? A short getaway and this time, I'm not going to bring too much of my marking over (can't afford to leave them totally behind). And I'm hoping to try out the water sports there!!

And I have to declare my deepest and sincerest apologies to Ain and Pah especially because I am not able to attend Pah's sister wedding this weekend. I know I've broken my promise to babysit Little Rehan ( I really would love too!!). But I'll come down to visit you soon k Little Rehan!

So dearest colleagues.. where are we going after Play Day? Shall we go kayaking at East Coast since we are all already in our sporty attire?! Confirm soon ok!

2007-03-23T14:59:00.000+08:00

WELCOME TO THE WORLD!!

Yay!! Joy to the world!! LITTLE REHAN was finally out yesterday afternoon!!

He's cute (well all babies are cute la). But he is exceptionally cute because he belongs to our dearest Pah. Managed to rush down to SGH straight after work to visit the new mummy and her little gem, together with Kamal.

I must say, I have been anxious and constantly checking my hp eversince Pah informed me about her checking in the hospital due to the lack of water in her water bag and that she would be induced. Seriously, I didn't know it was going to take her many many hours more before the contractions all begins.

Alhamdulillah, I'm just glad that Pah had a smooth and safe delivery. Now instead of just looking forward to friends' wedding, I can look forward to more deliveries. Exciting!!

Rehan, you shall wait for my next visit ya! Auntie Azah (ok ok kakak sounds pretty off) is pretty busy at the moment. But be a good boy always ok!

Rest well Pah!